Corporate Skill™️ I need to learn
Me: we should do xyz
Them: nah
Later…
Me: we should really do xyz
Them: nope
Later…
Them: new plan! I’ve learned of xyz & we must do it immediately
Me (correct answer) 🙂↕️
Me (actual answer): I will BURN this place to the GROUND
Me: we should do xyz
Them: nah
Later…
Me: we should really do xyz
Them: nope
Later…
Them: new plan! I’ve learned of xyz & we must do it immediately
Me (correct answer) 🙂↕️
Me (actual answer): I will BURN this place to the GROUND
Comments
Me: 😒Yes, you can do XYZ, but it may not work the way you expect.
Them: It'll be fine. Just do it.
(later)
Them: XYZ broke! Why weren't you doing your job?
Me: I warned you this would happen. You said it would be fine.
Them: We'll do XYZ again, the same way, & it will be fine.
Me: 😐
Me: "We need to x before y."
Them: "Nah."
Later...
Me: "Looks like y is soon, we should really x or we'll have to deal with z!"
Them: "Nah."
After y...
Them: "My god, we're buried in z, go do x!"
Me: "... Doing x won't help after y."
Them: "Just go do it, why won't you help the team?"
"Please don't hit your hand with that hammer."
"Hammerhandsing is the plan!"
WHAMWHAMWHAM
"Oh man this hurts, we need a new plan!"
"Ok, so step one, stop hitting your hand!"
"And that will fix my hand?"
"No, but..."
"We need hand-fixing ideas right now, not negativity!"
WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM...
Neither of these is my idea. Learned both from people a lot smarter than ne
I like making enemies at work