am now mostly used to the fact that at 30 I decided I had to start saving so I'd have at least 20k in the bank by the time I'd (hopefully!) want to have a kid but I still do, on occasion, stop and think about how utterly mad that is, as a thing to feel like you have to do, in a wealthy country - ThreadSky

youngvulgarian.marieleconte.com • 3 days ago

am now mostly used to the fact that at 30 I decided I had to start saving so I'd have at least 20k in the bank by the time I'd (hopefully!) want to have a kid but I still do, on occasion, stop and think about how utterly mad that is, as a thing to feel like you have to do, in a wealthy country

Comments

goldfever4.bsky.social•3 days ago

The lack of strategy is mindless, but more importantly it's just so uncivilised

bencurthoys.bsky.social•3 days ago

If you want to actually raise your own children rather then handing them off to paid childcare and returning to the grindstone you have to either be very poor or very rich.

jakernory.bsky.social•2 days ago

I felt bad that we were sending my kids to nursery.

But they loved it from day one. The staff clearly love them.

They do stuff we don’t have the equipment, space or frankly energy for.

The food they eat is decent. They mix with all sorts of other kids.

Only drawback is the price.

copypunk.bsky.social•3 days ago

I'm a 32 year old man on a salary so its not the same but I'm saving money so if I ever have a baby o can just take subatical because I don't think I could do full time work and juggle first dealing with a new born. I wish we were like the scandi countries where the man can share the workload

lizzieh.bsky.social•3 days ago

I was out of work for a year in my mid-late 30s and burnt through all my savings just keeping a roof over my head. With that, gone was my chance of egg freezing, or the idea that I could support a child on my own if need be. SMP for single parents is wholly insufficient

lottelydia.bsky.social•3 days ago

in a wealthy country that is always banging on about how important it is that we all have kids!

lottelydia.bsky.social•3 days ago

I funded the statutory bit of my mat leave on a book advance and I just don’t think the government can propose that as a workable solution for everyone

thechiller.bsky.social•3 days ago

I mean in fairness if they taxed the rich they maybe could?

ewacat.bsky.social•3 days ago

my sister has literally been doing bits of work throughout the whole Having A Baby thing and thank god she's a) in a position where she can, b) has a work set up that allows for it, and c) is earning enough to make it feasible

oliviasmith.bsky.social•3 days ago

Just agreeing: it is outrageous. As if becoming a mother enables you suddenly just to live on vibes.

oliviasmith.bsky.social•3 days ago

And also ensures women will stay in bad relationships because they can’t afford to leave, at exactly the point research shows badness tends to escalate.

ginbrogueshats.bsky.social•3 days ago

Government assisted childcare doesn't kick in until they are 3! The whole system was designed by people with nannies / family money.

bjeff1.bsky.social•3 days ago

If you wait to have kids until you can afford it you will never have kids. There is a Hofstater’s Law of kids that says they always cost more than you expect, even if you allow for Hofstater’s Law.

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