ive been feeling like im not trans at times since im scared to express myself at all irl and i haven't done much online in a while
for me finding safe and supportive places to express myself has helped a lot but ive just had a hard time with it lately since im insecure about my voice being too masc
Expressing irl is hard, a lot of it is kinda faking it till you are comfortable, I haven't gotten it down and sometimes I'll be in a store and just leave cus it gets too much, after a bit it becomes easier to go back out again.
Voice can be hard, I have a masc voice that becomes more masc when I'm nervous, so being able to at least pretending to be relaxed kinda(?) works, but it's hard
i havent done any voice training and probably should, im not worried about my voice when im interacting with a group that's primarily trans because i know they understand, but when it's with other people even if they're supportive i still just feel really insecure about my voice and how im perceived
Also the confidence about voice and perception is not something that comes naturally, it's learned and it sucks to learn but it takes time (and I think it's worth it even though I'm still not there yet)
One thing I was told was that voice training and anything with transitioning needs to be done for you and not to "pass", people who are dicks will always be dicks, for co-workers and class mates I will demand the respect I deserve by them addressing me properly....
...but if it is someone on the street or store and I have a bad interaction, I'll say to my self "what a dick" and try to put it out of my mind, it doesnt make it okay but it's all I can do. Most people are just trying to live and don't think too hard about others
yeah i know the whole idea of "passing" in general is problematic, it would mostly be for me to feel more comfortable expressing myself and to feel more secure in my femininity. like i said i feel like this around people i know are supportive so it's something that i need to get over myself.
im definitely not to the point where i would be comfortable expressing myself outside of my own home and don't really plan on doing so until i can move to a blue state
even at home i don't do anything to express myself, i bought one type of fem clothing and haven't touched it since last year.
Red states suck, hopefully you will be able to get out of there soon. With clothing, I don't dress too fem but just at home I found that wearing fem cut tshirts helps a lot, they're more comfortable and I got mine from walmart
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for me finding safe and supportive places to express myself has helped a lot but ive just had a hard time with it lately since im insecure about my voice being too masc
even at home i don't do anything to express myself, i bought one type of fem clothing and haven't touched it since last year.