On a Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not straighten up at all. When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her,
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“Woman, you must stay suffering because I have stocks in the healthcare sector.” Then he put his hands on her, and held her down until quarterly dividends were paid.
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Vance 13:10-13