I respect your opinion, and I even agree that the opening mission(s) are not the best. It's unfortunate that it wasn't for you, but it's good that you realised that early and didn't invest too much time into a bad experience. ^_^
I played through it on Epic for free and it was fine. I don't get the hate. It wasn't as silly as previous entries, but it was still a goofy fun time. But I also don't really regard Saints Row very highly other than the IVth.
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BUT, was it classic, chaotic street violence and vehicular mayhem? Hell yeah!
Will it set your wild on fire? Probably not. Is it worth $10? Absolutely!