not to be concerning on main but im trying so hard to draw a ref sheet to get my mind off of shit but with every. fucking line i put on the canvas i cannot stop consider just saying fuck it and taking the easy way out.
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Are you okay? Please stay safe.. I know things hurt but there will always be a light somewhere amidst the dark, there are people who love you and care about you more than you think Beetle.
I have endured 19 fucking years of the same bullshit, even then if it wasn't my "family" it was someone else piling onto the list of bullshit already wrong with me. therapists didn't help, cps did nothing, police did nothing, any attempt I ever made to set a boundary ended with the cycle getting
just that much fucking worse for me. the only reason i haven't fucking done it yet is because of the small handful of friends i've managed to keep in this miserable fucking existance
i am constantly putting myself under the pressure to be better when im not the one who needs to change. i am not the villain in my situation
it took me years to realize i was a fucking victim to the very people who were supposed to love me most.
there is always the pressure to do something i know i
just fucking can't.
i find myself resentful of those who have recovery as an option, i hate it. I hate that I feel a way I shouldn't
in truth im envious, jealous, im angry they have access to something i don't and maybe never fucking will
i hate the fact i might not ever get better.
i hate that i've been inflicted with shit i will never be able to heal from
i will never have the chance to be a normal, perfectly functioning person like my peers. Like other people
I hate it
I hate myself for bullshit that isn't even my fault.
i've become so resentful, hateful, bitter and just. fucking miserably numb
can i even be considered human or am i just a husk a fucking vessel forced to inhabit a world that seems to have it out for me at every turn
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it took me years to realize i was a fucking victim to the very people who were supposed to love me most.
there is always the pressure to do something i know i
i find myself resentful of those who have recovery as an option, i hate it. I hate that I feel a way I shouldn't
in truth im envious, jealous, im angry they have access to something i don't and maybe never fucking will
i hate that i've been inflicted with shit i will never be able to heal from
i will never have the chance to be a normal, perfectly functioning person like my peers. Like other people
I hate it
I hate myself for bullshit that isn't even my fault.
can i even be considered human or am i just a husk a fucking vessel forced to inhabit a world that seems to have it out for me at every turn