Bobby was unusual, dazzling, and endearing in a thousand ways, but one of them was that he was a furious journaler. Kept diaries since he was a teenager. Wanted to be a writer. His family got not one but *two* condolence notes from Toni Morrison, with whom he took a class. 2/8 - ThreadSky

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jennifersenior.bsky.social • 117 days ago

Bobby was unusual, dazzling, and endearing in a thousand ways, but one of them was that he was a furious journaler. Kept diaries since he was a teenager. Wanted to be a writer. His family got not one but *two* condolence notes from Toni Morrison, with whom he took a class. 2/8

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jennifersenior.bsky.social•117 days ago

Shortly after Bobby died, his father went to his apartment to clear out his belongings. Bobby's soon-to-be-fiancée, Jen, was with him, as were other friends. Bobby's last diary was still sitting on his desk. 3/8

jennifersenior.bsky.social•117 days ago

Jen took one look at that diary and realized her name was all over it. Asked if she could keep it. Bobby's father said yes. Big mistake. Bobby's mother badly wanted it. That diary was one last, bittersweet chance to spend time in her son's company again. 4/8

jennifersenior.bsky.social•117 days ago

She asked Jen to see that diary over and over. She didn't need to see the personal bits. A redacted version would have done. "If he's describing a tree, just give me the description of the tree," she said. Jen kept saying she'd consider it. Never happened. 5/8

jennifersenior.bsky.social•117 days ago

There were reasons for all this. There always are. Still, it all ended in terrible anger and sadness. The McIlvaine family never saw Jen again. Helen thought about that diary for years, wondering what was in it. 6/8

jennifersenior.bsky.social•117 days ago

This year, the twentieth anniversary of 9/11, I thought: I wonder if Jen is ready to give that diary back, or at least let the McIlvaines see it. 7/8

jennifersenior.bsky.social•117 days ago

This is the story of what followed—and what I learned about love, grief, and the stories we all need. 8/8

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/09/twenty-years-gone-911-bobby-mcilvaine/619490/

roxxidog.bsky.social•117 days ago

Great read!

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