things that trigger me!: small 🧵✨
this is a small list of things that personally make me triggered and part of why i relapsed again. so please be careful when you read and take care of yourself!
this is a small list of things that personally make me triggered and part of why i relapsed again. so please be careful when you read and take care of yourself!
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when i was in highschool i took mandarin and we had a teacher from china! one day she told us that if your waist is not hidden behind a piece of A4 paper you are considered fat and this has stuck with me for years.
so i was always the fat friend and i was always insecure about my weight. and i always dreamed of my friends picking me up and carrying me around because i was finally small and thin. so i use this as a motivation to get thin
when i was younger my jeans were always a size 10+ until i finally LOCKED IN so i am happy that i am down to a size 6. but the thing is a size 6 today would be a 12 so mentally with this knowlege i am actually a huge 🐮
i have never had a truly healthy relationship with food and i doubt i ever will. my parents always made fun of me for eating and my siblings always called me fat and i never dreamed of being anything. so seeing a plate thats way too full kills my appetite. double edged sword..?
i tried not to look in the mirror when i was recovering just because "oh my weight shouldn't effect me i am getting healthy" and eventually i was pinching my sides and they were way too big for my liking when i would look in the mirror. i hate seeing how my body jiggles i hate it.