This is the millionth op-ed I've read by a woman arguing that men need to be freed from the stereotypical expectations of masculinity without any explanation of who would free them, or how, or when. It's a nice idea but have you met any American men? Or any American women? - ThreadSky

ambivalentricky.bsky.social • 88 days ago

This is the millionth op-ed I've read by a woman arguing that men need to be freed from the stereotypical expectations of masculinity without any explanation of who would free them, or how, or when.

It's a nice idea but have you met any American men? Or any American women?

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Comments

rubyji.me•87 days ago

You can do this, Richard. Women can't keep fixing you. There are plenty of examples to follow, and tons of media made by not-men that you can read, watch, & listen to.

Just like white supremacy is white people's problem to fix.

I know you're being clever, but it's a cop out.

ambivalentricky.bsky.social•87 days ago

Oh sorry yeah I see how that reads. I meant that it's coming to look like another genre of lazy punditry, in the same vein as "We have to bridge the divide between Red and Blue America" ... "Okay, great - what's your plan then? You have met these people, right?"

ambivalentricky.bsky.social•87 days ago

On a personal level I literally only seek guidance about how to live my life from people who are not cishet white men. Which is not even a choice on my part, just how things have played out. You don't ask directions from people who don't know where they are either.

ambivalentricky.bsky.social•87 days ago

I'd be curious to know what you think about a suspicion I have - one that isn't super-helpful to throw around when you don't have any sons - that a major cause of this "crisis of masculinity" is simply bad fathering. When a young man says "Oh, I need to be more alpha to compete on the dating market"

rubyji.me•87 days ago

I feel like it's much more a result of the media that kids consume on Tiktok/Insta/YouTube/whatever. Even if boys don't get sucked in to this, the kids around them are exposed to it and it impacts their culture.

rubyji.me•87 days ago

For example my son is 15 and likes soccer & video games. He watches videos about those things. Even years ago when it was just Minecraft videos, I noticed them using language or mental frames that are common on the alt right. From his view it's just content, he doesn't see the politics baked in.

ethanclauset.bsky.social•87 days ago

Yeah my understanding is that if you play video games or watch streamers you're going to encounter that stuff pretty quickly, and there are younger influencers who aspire to be like Tate et al.

ambivalentricky.bsky.social•87 days ago

Where is the father saying "son, that's ridiculous, where are you getting these ideas?"

Again, only daughters, but if I had a son and found him listening to some manosphere podcast, we would be having a long, long, long talk. I suspect some of these bros have superficially liberal checked-out dads.

rubyji.me•87 days ago

That's not how it works. Kids don't just wake up one day and start listening to Andrew Tate.

linelightcolor.bsky.social•87 days ago

I'm not sure that I buy it. My wife and I took turns being the primary bread winners. For the last 20 years she's been the primary. We rarely get any societal push back. We have friends where the gender roles are similar to ours.

ambivalentricky.bsky.social•86 days ago

I'm deeply skeptical of any analysis that uncritically assumes that love and relationships are best discussed using the vocabulary of a market economy.

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