They should write a sequel to Lord of the Rings where someone tells Frodo there’s an even more powerful ring and he has to come out of retirement to finish the job
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But then he's pushed out of the way by all the female characters Tolkien refused to include in his stories except as props.
And Eowyn, Galadriel, and Arwen say, "FFS, let's get this done once and for all. You morons lost Númenor, the Southlands, Gondor, and nearly the Shire. Let us do it right."
they should make a sequel to the hindenburg disaster where someone tries to make another sequel to a finished story at disney and every single person involved in planning and making the decision die in a massive gas leak when everyone else was busy striking and was thus safe
Frodo all grimly shaking his head and saying, “I’m getting too old for this shit,” as he pulls his elf-cloak on one last time, pops the hood up and turns to shaved-head Legolas and Gimli with an eye-patch and robot arm.
He's all unkempt and shaggy, chopping wood at his rural hut and tells the people sent to get him "get off my property." Sam is miserable and bored with suburban life. Other two hobbits are in a traveling circus and have to be talked into quitting it
Close up of Frodos face, zooming back to see him sadly looking at two mithril-plated .45s. He picks one up and slams a magazine into it as the techno music from Blade intensifies
The sequel to Titanic: someone tells Rose she and Jack’s baby needs to get on the newly christened unsinkable Titanic II, and on the journey it gets attacked by a megalodon, all the lifeboats are eaten
Unknown figure: "I will take the ring" You think that's the only ring in the world?
Frodo: Who are you?
Samara emerging from the shadows: I'm here to talk to you about The Ring Initiative
LEGOLINNA: My father was a brave warrior. I- (FIRES THREE ARROWS WITH ONE DRAW KILLING THREE SEPARATE ORCS AND SPINS AROUND WITH HER DAGGER TO SLASH OPEN THE THROAT OF AN ORC APPROACHING HER FROM BEHIND) -am just a bad bitch.
GIMLI JR: DAAAAAAAAMMNNNN!
Tolkien actually started writing a sequel to the Lord of the Rings called "The New Shadow" but he stopped as he deemed it to be too close to an ordinary "thriller"
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And Eowyn, Galadriel, and Arwen say, "FFS, let's get this done once and for all. You morons lost Númenor, the Southlands, Gondor, and nearly the Shire. Let us do it right."
All, "ROSIE COTTON!"
Frodo, staring off into the distance: 'A new ring has been forged. I can feel it, Sam'
Gandalf, idly by a fire: 'I believe it to be worse, Frodo'
Cut to mount doom, some lava making way as the olympic rings appear
THE ELFSPENDABLES
WILD BALROGS
SHIRE COWBOYS
ORINGINAL GANGSTAS
SUMMER 2026.
Frodo: Who are you?
Samara emerging from the shadows: I'm here to talk to you about The Ring Initiative
GIMLI JR: DAAAAAAAAMMNNNN!
"they fly now?"
"they fly now"
Lord of the Ringers.