nothing but love and respect to the ppl who say its the least important thing about them but for me its the most important thing its the prism through which i understand everything and through which the world perceives me
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yep, and i think this attitude is at least part of the reason early transitioners often don't have a lot of role models to look up to in their communities
yeah I see a lot of that and also a lot of claims like you're supposed to grow out of trans community eventually which is a really weird thing to me and I feel like these things or at least a bit transphobic
this is alien to me like why would you want to separate yourself out from people like you deliberately? who taught you to hate yourself that much? we need our elders just as much as they need us
absolutely. The first time I heard something like that was in the late '80s when I was just starting out and I decided that it sounded bad. and then I ended up avoiding trans community for like a decade but you know I never said I made all the best decisions
And it's bad for the community in general. I have friends who transitioned many years ago, and they came to me when I came out and offered help and advice. And it was good to hear about their perspective about how it was for us in the past. We need our elders
🌹 this is just for me probably but behind that “I hang out almost exclusively with cis people” comment underhangs an unsaid “because other trannies haven’t put it together enough to be cis like me” and
and 100% agree it's always said with at least mild condescension as if "having community with those who understand you the most" is something you grow out of
yea it's very weird, just deeply 'okay I pass enough to not get insulted publicly, time to yank the ladder up' shit. I don't know how someone can go through transition and come out with that self focused mindset
Gods yeah, a toxic holdover from when we were expected to disappear cross country, invent a new identity, stealth and deny everything the moment we pass. The "trans is a least good outcome" ideology. I'm so glad that is mostly gone
Yeah I understand moving on from some online trans communities especially that skew *very* baby trans because it can be a little exhausting, but like.. I moved on from those places to places where I could form more concrete relationships with people who are at similar stages or beyond.
It's weird to totally ditch all of your sisters for exclusively cis people, even if I think it can be good to have a mix of cis and trans friends so you're not getting *too* insular.
Sometimes it's nice to have a friend who has never seen the day's discourse.
Yes thank you this it is very important to me and has shaped most of my life. I've never felt that I could say that this is the least interesting thing about me and not because the rest of me is not interesting. it may also make me annoying but I can live with that
idk i wouldnt say that bc i tend towards "its the least interesting thing abt me" tbh i would much rather be known for my music or aesthetic or w/e and yes, that is informed by my transness, but that doesnt mean transness is the thing i want to center in my expression
i tink that’s the more nuanced side of it— i wouldn’t say my transness is the least or most interesting thing about me but everything i do is through the lens of transness
yeah i would say the same but also for me, i want to intentionally push back on the pidgeonholing that we get as trans artists/creators like, i'm always gonna be a Trans Guitarist, not just a guitarist and i hate that its incredibly difficult to break out of that
Yes I think this is the thing I feel like is the main way it's relevant for me. Like I wrote one extremely trans book about being in trans community and then every other one would probably disappoint someone who is specific looking for trans lit instead of lit that happens to be trans.
that part. i can’t separate it from who i am because i can’t make it through a day without being reminded that it’s the primary way that society understands and interacts with me.
Yeah, I mean, put aside the gender aspect for a second? I have broken one of the worst taboos known to men (pun intended), this kind of thing leaves a mark on EVERYTHING you do and are. There are no rules. I will cut my balls off just because it pleases me. This kind of energy is all-encompassing.
there's a very real fear from most of the creative trans folks i know that we'll get painted into the corner of only making TRANS™ art. it can be frustrating and tbh you do kinda see that play out with the well know trans media people.
nahhh maybe for some but lizzie for example is not the assimilationist or people pleasing type. some of us just conceive of it as a past tense thing and like i said i respect it. not all of us want to keep shrines to our violent regenesis
I've found that the systems of self punishment, negative self talk, and harsh criticism created from years of ADHD are more important in defining me than being trans. No matter what I do to my brain or body, the ADHD will remain as an immutable burden, shaping who I am more than anything else
For me it's so important. The change it's had on me is profound. I find it fascinating, so I do think about it. I love interacting with other trans folks. And a lot of my current goals involve my transition
I'm pretty much the same. I think my relationship to transness changed over time but it remained the most important thing about me. I wouldn't exist without it and it shapes every facet of my life.
I definitely ebb and flow in regards to which aspects of my identity are central, for a bit there being trans had started to feel less important but I dunno over the last few months it felt unavoidable the need for community with each other in the face of attack. Trans women are my sisters.
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which fair!
but god the freshly cracked eggs need help. we all do in various ways.
why not stick together
just being visible, living my life openly, and being available when i can be, that's participating
and sorry cis peeps my goal isn’t to be a carbon copy of you
im my own woman, rife with intersectionalities
I wouldn’t drop trans community the way I wouldn’t drop Native community. It’s all a part of Us
like... idk in a perfect world where cis people weren't weird freaks to us, maybe? but as the walls close in, i need my trans sisters above all else
ugh bleck yuck
i can't imagine not wanting to be in community with other people who Get It
Sometimes it's nice to have a friend who has never seen the day's discourse.
i just remember how lost i felt early on when they were *all i had*
so long as i am one of the two or three people allowed to do it it’s important to center that for all of the girls who come after me to see, you know?
like im not gonna put a flag in my bio but you're gonna know anyway. everything i do is informed by being on this high wire