my ancestors: *hunting a wild boar and grinding corn by hand so they can have breakfast* me: *trying to stir natural peanut butter* jesus christ will my suffering NEVER end - ThreadSky

elleisanisland.bsky.social • 164 days ago

my ancestors: *hunting a wild boar and grinding corn by hand so they can have breakfast*

me: *trying to stir natural peanut butter* jesus christ will my suffering NEVER end

Comments

yetanotherbrian.bsky.social•164 days ago

I have literally used needing to chop some wood as an excuse to ask my partner to stir peanut butter for our kids.

I submit that peanut butter stirring is the greater burden, and in this essay I will use a combination of ethical philosophy and string theory to prove it... 1/37

taguestans.bsky.social•164 days ago

how did you even get the jar open?

mrl53.bsky.social•164 days ago

Shake shake shake
Before stirring.

cosmicninja.bsky.social•164 days ago

I just store it upside down. Flip it back up when needed, and go. I find that really minimizes how much stirring, if any, is needed

aka-majortom.bsky.social•164 days ago

I was going to post exactly this.👍

scribblegurl.bsky.social•164 days ago

You still have to stir it, but the mess and aggravation are way minimalized.

kiuky.bsky.social•164 days ago

but your ancestors might not have tried stirring natural peanut butter.

bodysatnav.bsky.social•164 days ago

Hunting wild boar might be difficult. But surely some of your neighbours will have cats that sometimes stray into your garden? You don't even have to chase them, just coax them to you then into the pot! It's important to keep up traditions, though obviously updated to modern living.

thebestdavid.bsky.social•164 days ago

I sincerely believe that if any of our ancestors from the hunter gatherer days were here now, they would instantly become addicted to processed food and reality TV. They are elated that you don't have to kill boars for food, only revenge.

dkmarsh.bsky.social•90 days ago

Jeez, doesn't anyone grind it fresh at the natural foods store? No detectable separation occurs in the time it takes to consume several jars' worth. Plus it costs less, and some places let you use your own container, making it easy to reuse glass jars and keep your plastic footprint smaller.

hondojarrus.bsky.social•164 days ago

1. Store the unopened jar upside down
2. Use a butter knife to cut through it multiple times before running along the bottom edge, then finally stirring with the knife.
3. Spoon is only used for serving 👍

smollestbunny2.bsky.social•164 days ago

I would assume our ancestors made food for a couple of days in advance like we do today tbh. Make a meal might as well make enough for leftovers

raoulguapo.bsky.social•164 days ago

The struggle is real.

cwant.bsky.social•164 days ago

If it helps, my peanut butter life changed with this impulse purchase (peanut butter stirrer and scrapper). Have not found anything decent on Amazon to help hunt boars or grind corn though (yet).

jamesowendesign.bsky.social•164 days ago

And the natural peanut butter grease goes everywhere

aiabx.bsky.social•164 days ago

I’ve given up on natural peanut butter, the bottom half of the jar was always an inedible dry mass.

scribblegurl.bsky.social•164 days ago

Gotta turn it upside down and leave it for a day or two before you open it.

pgj.life•164 days ago

🤣 they call it evolution … right? 😬

safexxi.bsky.social•164 days ago

Have you tried using a spatula. I mean, I really wish my greatest angst was stirring peanut butter 🥹

elleisanisland.bsky.social•164 days ago

This is a joke. No human alive has "stirring peanut butter" as their greatest angst

arreffbee.bsky.social•164 days ago

I feel like by the time you reach the level of privilege where such a thing would be possible, you would already have tipped over into "my greatest angst is all these filthy poors mocking me just because I'm better than they are" territory

safexxi.bsky.social•164 days ago

Ohhhhh. I’m so not there with identifying humor 😂

elleisanisland.bsky.social•164 days ago

♥️

sauldk.bsky.social•164 days ago

Ooh, they ate tacos with wild boar Bolognese!

ara123.bsky.social•163 days ago

😆 lol

talentcoop.bsky.social•164 days ago

😂😂😂👏👏👏

pandoxic.bsky.social•164 days ago

nah that's real my ancestors would cry if they got overdraft fees from paying rent

drunkenbakers.bsky.social•164 days ago

Then, take a large spoonful of the lovely viscous foodstuff and put it in your mouth. Your angst will turn into choking horror as the apparently liquid nourishment sets like concrete in your mouth and throat.

bori206.bsky.social•163 days ago

Turn it upside down a couple of days before you open it, then rightside up an hour before.

diegoorge.bsky.social•164 days ago

Think of it this way. They never had bills to pay

susancorry.bsky.social•164 days ago

😂

rockstarelise.com•164 days ago

Also, the trauma of stirring the sour cream water back in

darlenecypser.bsky.social•51 days ago

Where there is a will, there is a whey.

elleisanisland.bsky.social•164 days ago

so grim

also, feta floating around lol

rockstarelise.com•164 days ago

😂

rockstarelise.com•164 days ago

Or the horror of fresh mozzarella

mementomori4950.bsky.social•155 days ago

😆😆

scoobydoobie.bsky.social•164 days ago

use a fork stuck into a drill

scoobydoobie.bsky.social•164 days ago

you might have to grind down the sides the fork handle for it to fit a 3/8 chuck on a smaller drill but it works . just put it on slow though or you will have peanutbutter on your walls 😂

operabunny.bsky.social•164 days ago

The vast array of gadgets that do one small and very specific job never ceases to amaze me:

Peanut Butter Stirrer, 11.8 Inch Stainless Steel Nut Butter Mixer Peanut Butter Stirring Tool Drill Nut Butter Stirrer Fast Mixing Stirrer Utensil for Mixing Various Peanut Butter Jam https://amzn.eu/d/608aqXD

scoobydoobie.bsky.social•163 days ago

yea i kinda figured someone mighta made something lol if a person has arthritis definetly could help 👍🏼

rantomon.bsky.social•164 days ago

Indeed, that stuff is nuts.... 😉

2hdfloppydisk.bsky.social•164 days ago

@emmylou03.bsky.social

thirsty0ne.at•164 days ago

Okay okay, calm down, I’ll follow your account

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