Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick's been acting fishy! I need to buy a safe that looks like a Spray 'N Wash can.

"Hey, Mitch, can I use the Spray 'N Wash?"

"Yeah, if you want to spray your shirt with DOCUMENTS!"
Reposted from Wyatt Sinclair
Fuck it. It's lunch time. Let's see your favorite Mitch Hedberg jokes.

"My manager's cool, he gets concerned, he says, 'Mitch, don't use liquor as a crutch.' I can't use liquor as a crutch... because a crutch helps me walk."

Comments