I know. It feels like life's against people like you and me. It can be hard to believe it's even possible that things will get better. But it can. It might not be easy, but I certainly believe in you. Lots of us do, no matter what that part of you does to try and say otherwise.
I really hope this can help in someway. I'm far from a therapist as you can probably tell, but I wasn't gonna just ignore what's going on. I see one of my friends going through this, I'm gonna do my damnedest to at least try and help.
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You can and have done plenty right.
I just...can't anymore.