Yes! For example. Stop laughing (or pretending to laugh) at misogynistic, homophobic jokes. As a man, I’ve found that other men instantly stop behaving like that around me when I ask them to explain their bad jokes.
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"Sorry, but I didn't think that was very funny" is extremely easy to say and you usually don't have to explain yourself any further than that for the point to be received.
In general, boys yearn for the ant glove. It's why a lot of the permissive approaches to "fixing" the struggles a lot of boys face don't work. They're not looking for someone to tell them that they are heard, they're looking deep down for someone to tell them to shut up, sit down, and do their work.
I can see this happen with young children in their social circles. The type of punching-down humor gets normalized and leads to bullying. But they don’t know yet that they can reject the loudest voice in their group just by saying “that isn’t funny”
It starts so young, isn’t it? It isn’t behavior natural to the human condition, but it’s modeled for boys so early in classrooms, sex-segregated athletics, and, of course, at home.
Well… kind of. Mean girls are meant to break down solidarity between girls/women. It’s not quite the same as learning a toolkit of domination and exploiting others.
Because means girls and tough boys are ultimately both conferring more power to boys/men.
We love watching a conservative neighbour realising that whatever he is about to say next is going to get a rebuttal or rejection from us and taking the long verbal way round before giving up and letting it go
Even if HE doesn't change, he is infecting others a bit less
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And even if they don’t change their behavior everywhere, at least they know they can’t spread their misogyny to others around you.
Because means girls and tough boys are ultimately both conferring more power to boys/men.
Even if HE doesn't change, he is infecting others a bit less