FYI I have professionally diagnosed dissociative identity disorder (formerly known as multiple personality disorder). I have a host personality + 11 other distinct personalities & memory issues due to it. I developed it after being raped at 4 years old. I also have #CPTSD from sustained trauma. - ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

helenangel.bsky.social • 17 days ago

FYI
I have professionally diagnosed dissociative identity disorder (formerly known as multiple personality disorder).

I have a host personality + 11 other distinct personalities & memory issues due to it. I developed it after being raped at 4 years old. I also have #CPTSD from sustained trauma.

Comments

zphotog7.bsky.social•17 days ago

I understand. I'm definitely following.

helenangel.bsky.social•16 days ago

Thank you & followed back! 💜

zphotog7.bsky.social•16 days ago

Absolutely

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

I’m always happy to answer questions about it. I have it under control now due to many months of intensive psychotherapy, but I will continue to have issues for the rest of my life. I understand if people who prefer to avoid others with mental health issues choose to unfollow me because of it.

techsocial.bsky.social•17 days ago

Thank you for sharing that part of yourself. I believe being open about mental health, when one is able and wants to, is a powerful and supportive act.

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

Thank you & I absolutely believe that as well. Especially with more & more children experiencing severe childhood trauma, it’s going to become less of a rare diagnosis.

taliesin82.bsky.social•17 days ago

Do you ever interact with people who describe themselves as systems? I’ve had a few system friend groups and gotten to know each of the people in the system and they were all lovely people

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

Oh yes! One of my close RL friends is also a system. They do go by different names & different pronouns depending on which alter is fronting. I’m very fortunate that all my alters are cool with using a universal name & pronouns. Their willingness to do co-consciousness also helps needing to mask.

taliesin82.bsky.social•17 days ago

Awesome. Yeah I bet that helps a lot. Discord has very cool bots that allow alters to speak as themselves and be individual and it was a great way to get to know each person in a system and form different friendships etc.

penumbriandroga.bsky.social•9 days ago

I took the MID a few years ago when i was getting assessed for asd. It said my symptoms were consistent w ptsd did and possible somatoform disorder. Didnt do anything w it bc i was scared. Am seeing a dissociative specialist now, and gonna do the MID again soon. Am so scared! Any advice? Or comfort?

helenangel.bsky.social•9 days ago

Also remember that these diagnoses are really just to help you get the treatment you need. And as someone who does PTSD treatment via therapy, it has helped me process trauma so well that some of my PTSD symptoms went away. So don’t be afraid of a diagnosis. They’re just there to find treatment.

helenangel.bsky.social•9 days ago

Do you have persistent & noticeable memory loss, even in recent memory but also throughout your life? If not, you don’t have DID thankfully!

The good thing about PTSD & somatoform disorders is they can both be treated outpatient with excellent outcomes. PTSD especially has gotten new treatments.

penumbriandroga.bsky.social•9 days ago

Unfortunately, yes, i do experience memory issues, but i dont think its so extreme. Thank you for your kindness!

helenangel.bsky.social•9 days ago

Yeah, there are days, months, & even years of my life that are just gone. I can’t remember them at all. Some of my alters can but what the various ones can remember is different. And you’re very welcome! No matter what your diagnosis is, it’ll turn out for the better. 💜

techsocial.bsky.social•17 days ago

How is the host determined amoung the distinctives?

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

It’s the one with the closest connection to the body. Internally I go by “Main” because technically, we’re all alters. I was mostly integrated until my mental break in 2020 when it felt like I just shattered. My alters all knew I was the host but I didn’t know I even had DID until I was diagnosed.

techsocial.bsky.social•17 days ago

That’s really interesting. Are you able to internally communicate with each other?

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

Yes, that was one of the first things we worked on in therapy. We used to have formal meetings & sometimes still do but it’s not as needed. It’s like having multiple trains of thought running at the same time but the other thoughts aren’t ones that you know you generated, if that makes sense.

techsocial.bsky.social•17 days ago

That does make sense, thank you.

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

You’re very welcome! Always happy to chat.

dehydratedtreefrog.bsky.social•17 days ago

i could never unfollow you, you mean too much to me 🖤

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

Thank you so much! 💜💜💜 I appreciate you, too!

emexastris.bsky.social•17 days ago

Are we always talking to your host personality or do we need to differentiate?

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

No need to differentiate as all my alters/personalities go by Helen. They do have nicknames but it’s more for internal differentiation. Thanks to therapy, most of the time you’re talking to the host + others sharing co-consciousness. So nothing you need to change from your end. 💜

emexastris.bsky.social•17 days ago

Sounds good, thanks! Glad therapy has been helpful for you!

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

You’re welcome & thank you for asking!

cloudhunter.co.uk•17 days ago

My boyfriend has DID but is really scared to get it diagnosed. And he really should as some of his alters are a bit... Challenging to deal with.

I hope you're able to cope with it as well as can be expected :)

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

Why is he scared to get it diagnosed? And therapy has helped me so much, especially with alters that were self-destructive & antagonistic.

cloudhunter.co.uk•17 days ago

I think he's scared of being locked away in a psych ward or being labeled.

(And yeah I've met and had to "fight" with antagonistic alters which is why I believe he could do with the help)

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

Oh! He doesn’t have to worry about being locked in a psych ward as they don’t do that anywhere anymore. Outpatient treatment is the standard. I actually couldn’t even get inpatient treatment for it. Therapy is just trauma therapy & learning how to internally communicate with the system.

cloudhunter.co.uk•17 days ago

Thanks for the information! I'll share it with him.

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

And both of you are always welcome to chat with me about it whenever! I’ll always support you however I can! 💜

eakyrtk.com•17 days ago

Are the personatilies too different also is there memory gaps. I had a talk with DID person irl and I didn't get the full details. He said he had chosen a personality for himself to continue as one or something. He was diagnosed.

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

To give some examples of the differences: some alters are different sexualities, some are vegetarian, some are different religions, some have opposite opinions on different things. So I make decisions as a group with majority vote for most things. It means a LOT of compromise, too.

eakyrtk.com•17 days ago

Human brain is so interesting... Its very interesting like are looking at them as real or something to be fixed. I dont know if just the thought of that could cause chaos internally. Or do they understand you and made a pact.

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

So from then on, when I experienced trauma from abuse, my brain kept fragmenting itself as a defense mechanism. Essentially, all DID is just the brain’s mechanism to deal with severe trauma. I have 1 alter that can access all memories, all others have limited access (myself included)z

eakyrtk.com•17 days ago

Brain finds a defense mechanism and keeps using it. Also does alters kinda borns to find solutions and have their own distinct self-fulfilling prophecies. Like does some of them tend to walk you towards more bad situations while some of them kinda healing.

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

Not really. It’s more like my brain is a dorm & my alters are all residents in the dorm. So they’re full individuals with their own thoughts, needs, wants, etc. So they might be like “hey, I’m a vegetarian can we please not eat meat tonight” or “schedule me in for some Stardew bc I want to play”

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

It is fascinating! Basically my toddler brain couldn’t handle the horror of being raped so it fragmented itself. The fragment experienced the abuse to protect the rest of the brain. One of my alters is basically stuck at early childhood because it grew from that fragment.

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

Yes, sadly, some of the personalities now are too different to reintegrate. But many folks with DID do eventually get to the point where they can reintegrate into 1 personality.

There are lots of memory gaps, especially for me as the host. It can be really frustrating at times!

theangryoptimist.bsky.social•17 days ago

I would never ever unfollow you for that. I am so sorry for that little girl who was so abused as a child, and didn’t deserve any of it. That’s not fair and I can’t imagine how hard it’s been.

You are so incredibly strong, and an inspiration for those of us with CPTSD.

Love you!

helenangel.bsky.social•17 days ago

Thank you so much & love you! 💜💜💜