You are allowed to live your life. 💜
Don't let others try to contort you into a box, your soul remembers it and it tortures us. Be yourself. There is nothing that comes inherently wrong with who you are. Sometimes people don't understand us. It is not our job to make them understand. It's okay to-
be different. Our preferences are all unique and all important.
Elders are much different and have odd expectations sometimes. They often have unprocessed generational trauma and are not as emotionally mature as we understood them to be growing up. It's okay to be yourself! It's okay to be.-
What they are telling you behind the guilt-tripping and blame-shifting is that they want to know you better or would like to talk more.. but they do not know how to sit with those feelings and express them plainly. It's not your problem or responsibility to fix it for them.
Apparently she's upset/worried that I barely talk when around family social gatherings and tend to keep to myself/draw, the thing I've done for 35 years of my life, saying I need to be more social and interact more and making others think I don't want to be around them.
yeah I get the same thing from my parents. like, sorry I don't want to talk about housing prices or bad students. Just not much for me to contribute there.
I barely initiate conversation because I don't have a lot to say. I enjoy being around others' company and hearing everyone while doing my own thing, and other family members barely initiate conversation with me or ask me about things except my parents and my grandfather.
I even mentioned seeing a new bowling alley in my hometown where they live and saying I wish I lived there because there's a lot more to do, and she said "oh you won't go!"
Not sure why I'm so surprised when she's constantly said rude things like this to my parents and my sister.
Sorry for dumping here just getting tired of people thinking all I do is sit on the computer all day when I work out, do chores, walk outdoors, go riding, and would love to go out and do things more if my friends didn't all move away.
its so weird how old relatives feel entitled to people interacting with them and take it as rude if you're not extremely polite in a specific way. Ive dealt with this and i hate it bcs i literally should be allowed to refuse to interact in those sorts of situations
Been there. One of the gripes my Omi/Opa had was that I'd never come by, or call, since I was either working long hours or weekends to help make ends meet. Then any time I would be able to visit, they'd get annoyed when it was inconvenient since they had other things going on that they would...
...never tell us when they were home or get offended we didn't know their private schedules. Anytime I could call, they'd screen their phone calls via answering machine because they were avoiding "everyone." Yet it was my fault I never reach out. 🫤
I had to deal with that a bit too and its always a pain in the ass, especially when it spins into "you tend to keep to yourself or chill out at family gatherings/x situation that means you'll never ever interact with people in any other scenario even if its necessary" which is always bullshit.
Comments
Don't let others try to contort you into a box, your soul remembers it and it tortures us. Be yourself. There is nothing that comes inherently wrong with who you are. Sometimes people don't understand us. It is not our job to make them understand. It's okay to-
Elders are much different and have odd expectations sometimes. They often have unprocessed generational trauma and are not as emotionally mature as we understood them to be growing up. It's okay to be yourself! It's okay to be.-
You deserve to exist. 💜
Like c'mon man.
Not sure why I'm so surprised when she's constantly said rude things like this to my parents and my sister.
I don’t really… know what I should say, I don’t have much going on in my life