TIL I’m a highly emotional sub bc giving up control is scary and confronting that fear makes me bawl, lose clear communication and get self-conscious about not appearing sexy. It will take a Dom who can handle the messy, emotional side of me, for me to fully surrender. - ThreadSky

powerversff.bsky.social • 76 days ago

TIL I’m a highly emotional sub bc giving up control is scary and confronting that fear makes me bawl, lose clear communication and get self-conscious about not appearing sexy. It will take a Dom who can handle the messy, emotional side of me, for me to fully surrender.

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lifestyleowner.bsky.social•76 days ago

How do you imagine they would navigate it? Allow you to express it and push you through? Ignore it and keep focused on training and not let it deter them, while also respecting you and giving you space?

powerversff.bsky.social•76 days ago

It’s an interesting question because I don’t really know what is the “right” way. I would think an acknowledgment of my emotional state, a “good boy” reinforcement, and continuing to push if I don’t say red would be sufficient. Most of all, I want to feel safe so I can truly let my guard down.

lifestyleowner.bsky.social•76 days ago

In my opinion, any Dom worth their salt ought to be doing these things already because they have education about how to engage in SSC scenes.

powerversff.bsky.social•76 days ago

I guess it’s also why I’m a pup — the skritches, the “good boy” callouts, the treats and rewards are all playful positive reinforcements that keep me in the headspace of working for a reward.

ffillyf.bsky.social•76 days ago

Love you babe. You know I love talking about this stuff. Let’s be in touch soon. Appreciating your vulnerability and holding it 😘

peachstatelifter.bsky.social•76 days ago

Any play partner, let alone a power exchange partner, must be ready for all of you, and they must bring all of themselves.

Sex is a messy, emotional, fun, scary, orgasmic roller coaster.

Someone who wants to play with you, and is a wholesome person, is not going to be phased. Express yourself.

peachstatelifter.bsky.social•76 days ago

It’s okay to feel scared. It’s okay to be fearful. Stop and talk about it with your play partner. The best ones will do whatever they can to help you feel safe exploring all the new mental sensations and emotions.

If they won’t help create that psychological safety, leave.

peachstatelifter.bsky.social•76 days ago

You never need to apologize for yourself or your wellbeing. You never need to justify your emotions or fears.

A good play partner will be there with all of you.

I will always be there for you: you know that. You know me, and how far I go to make a scene a safe space to explore.

📥 if you need.

daddykenneth.bsky.social•76 days ago

Any Dom worth his spit will start by meeting the sub where the sub is; and teaching them that it’s safe to submit. The Dom will take submission incrementally so that the sub always feels safe enough to take the next step toward freedom, er, total submission I mean.

powerversff.bsky.social•76 days ago

This is comforting to hear. As a newer sub, sometimes i do cave in to the (self-inflicted) pressure to dive headlong into scenes but wrestling internally with giving up control vs feeling safe to be vulnerable first before submitting incrementally.

daddykenneth.bsky.social•76 days ago

I’ve seen this happen a lot to new subs, they want the full experience so badly that they forget to wait and see if the Dom is worthy of their trust and respect. You know that saying about respect needing to be given to be received? It goes both ways. Otherwise it’s just abuse in a nice wrapping.

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