Last night I saw a response to abuse that a troll had sent to them, and they simply replied: “that's a great story and you tell it so well.” I love that energy, and think it can be used for any kind of nonsense hurled your way!
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I respond to trolls with a short phrase in Russian. Something like, "you know better than I." It's both a response and an accusation. (No, I don't know Russian. I use a translator.)
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That's a great story...