You are an amazing person. I know shit really sucks right now. I get it. And I know when it rains it pours and everything just feels so overbearing that you can't take it anymore. Your mind is just so wrapped up in this darkness and despair and it just always feels like no matter what you do or what
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It sucks feeling that way. I deal with a lot of that myself too. Therapy could help for sure. Maybe see if there's any resources in your area that could help without it costing you a fortune.
Either way hold on to those that lift you up, that support you -
These are tough times and I think they best we can do is just try and get through it together.
Much love roo, hang in there