The Enterprise gets a distress call from some fish people (more or less) and their planet might be under attack. The only way to get Picard and Wesley there is a weird Jawa-esque mining ship with a captain that proves that we gave up on capitalism at some point but never gave up on meth. - ThreadSky

thesheepmafia.bsky.social • 13 days ago

The Enterprise gets a distress call from some fish people (more or less) and their planet might be under attack. The only way to get Picard and Wesley there is a weird Jawa-esque mining ship with a captain that proves that we gave up on capitalism at some point but never gave up on meth.

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thesheepmafia.bsky.social•13 days ago

Picard is in the back studying so you've got Wesley and Captain Sparky in charge of getting everyone to their destination. I didn't even get to have the thought "well this is bad" before they lose a thruster and all navigation, causing them to spin out of control towards a nearby planet.

thesheepmafia.bsky.social•13 days ago

I know this isn't Wesley's fault. It's not his ship. But it still feels like it's his fault. That thruster was fine until Wesley got there.

The ship crashes hard into the planet. Nobody is wearing a seat belt. Sparky is straight up surfing the ship down. And much like Star Wars, everyone is fine.

thesheepmafia.bsky.social•13 days ago

Sparky tells Picard he doesn't have any emergency food or water. Sparky says it's not his fault, he doesn't have a starship and he has to choose what to carry. I'm assuming his choices are always "stolen copper" and "no second thing"

thesheepmafia.bsky.social•13 days ago

Sparky tells Picard that he's not the captain out here and Wesley gets really mad and very literally almost says "Why I oughtta!" It's as intimidating as it sounds. Both Picard and Sparky tell him to shut up and he does without question.

thesheepmafia.bsky.social•13 days ago

Picard, Sparky, and Operation Desert Sprinkle get to a nearby cave. Sparky drops a small bottle of a clear liquid and Wesley thinks it's water because he's never met a Sparky before. Me, I've met plenty of them, I've known he had a booze bottle stashed in his crotch this whole time.

thesheepmafia.bsky.social•13 days ago

Since Picard is stuck in Act II of Diablo 2 (fuck that whole desert ass section of the game), we get to see Riker take a swing at being captain. He immediately runs the ship into an old abandoned hazardous waste cargo ship. Swing and a miss.

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