Picard, Sparky, and Operation Desert Sprinkle get to a nearby cave. Sparky drops a small bottle of a clear liquid and Wesley thinks it's water because he's never met a Sparky before. Me, I've met plenty of them, I've known he had a booze bottle stashed in his crotch this whole time. - ThreadSky

thesheepmafia.bsky.social • 13 days ago

Picard, Sparky, and Operation Desert Sprinkle get to a nearby cave. Sparky drops a small bottle of a clear liquid and Wesley thinks it's water because he's never met a Sparky before. Me, I've met plenty of them, I've known he had a booze bottle stashed in his crotch this whole time.

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thesheepmafia.bsky.social•13 days ago

Since Picard is stuck in Act II of Diablo 2 (fuck that whole desert ass section of the game), we get to see Riker take a swing at being captain. He immediately runs the ship into an old abandoned hazardous waste cargo ship. Swing and a miss.

thesheepmafia.bsky.social•13 days ago

Picard and Co. find a waterfall in the cave but it's surrounded by a force field. Wesley tries to figure it out, but Sparky has a different plan. The last time he tried to figure anything out, it ended with his wife leaving him for his brother while he explained that "it wasn't what it looked like."

thesheepmafia.bsky.social•13 days ago

So Sparky starts to shoot the force field and I'm not using hyperbole or metaphor here, a ghost shows up and slaps them each on the mouth, then knocks some rocks down into the cave. I have the rock hit count here:

Sparky: 2 rocks
Wesley: 0 rocks
Picard: 477 rocks

So Picard is dying.

thesheepmafia.bsky.social•13 days ago

Picard tells Wesley that he has to learn how to stand up to Sparky on his own. Sparky's actual name is Dirgo but everyone pronounces it like the slur for Italians and it's incredibly funny. Sparky and Wesley think about what to do for about five seconds and Sparky is done.

thesheepmafia.bsky.social•13 days ago

Their plan requires Wesley to be a brave gunslinger and so it fails catastrophically and now Sparky is encased in hardened ghost webbing. I don't know if this means he's dead, but he hasn't had his booze in like 26 minutes so he's already touch and go.

thesheepmafia.bsky.social•13 days ago

The Enterprise nearly fails to escape lethal radiation poisoning by like ten seconds. Nobody died but they all have a type of Turbo Cancer never before seen by man.

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