I am at least grateful i have friends i can speak with during this very bad time in my life. But to be fair, I don't think I can keep up staying up till 12am to cope. I legit feel my health getting worse with lack of sleep, and now have a habit of suddenly dozing off if nothing is happening at work. - ThreadSky

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r0b0t6.bsky.social • 23 days ago

I am at least grateful i have friends i can speak with during this very bad time in my life. But to be fair, I don't think I can keep up staying up till 12am to cope. I legit feel my health getting worse with lack of sleep, and now have a habit of suddenly dozing off if nothing is happening at work.

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r0b0t6.bsky.social•23 days ago

Even though I do have friends, one thing that I feel like I've lost is connection with my partner. Ever since they started their new job we've been working at different times. I work while they sleep, they work while I am off, and they're off while I sleep.

r0b0t6.bsky.social•23 days ago

Even though the future looks bleak, thinking about being with them at least gave me solace about the future. But now, going back to what I said earlier, I do not see a light at the end of the tunnel where we will be living together any time soon. It legit breaks my heart.

r0b0t6.bsky.social•23 days ago

I've been so worried about them. It seems that they're even more stressed about things than I am. Especially working on the news out of all places. I really do not want our relationship to fade away, but ig the U.S. has other plans for us.

r0b0t6.bsky.social•23 days ago

Either way, I've been pretending I've been getting better since last November. But in reality, this is the worst I've ever felt in my life. the only thing keeping it at bay are the new meds I've been taking. I want to cry, but unfortunately the meds have made that quite difficult.

r0b0t6.bsky.social•23 days ago

Another worst part about all this is that I feel like I've slept away all my free time. I don't have pleasant dreams, nightmares of people telling me I'm not a good person, people I know getting angry/into fights, and (my favorite) nuclear bombs going off. Don't get me started on the sleep paralysis

r0b0t6.bsky.social•23 days ago

I legit do not know how to get out of this feeling. Then again, it almost feels like I've accepted it. That I am not really living life... just existing until the expiration date occurs.

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