Also idk how this happens. When I was ostensibly a straight guy, I think I got a clear yes/no to do you want an exclusive relationship after 3 dates 100% of the time. I don't think I ever dated someone where that conversation didn't occur after the 3rd date. - ThreadSky

kimischilling.bsky.social • 7 days ago

Also idk how this happens. When I was ostensibly a straight guy, I think I got a clear yes/no to do you want an exclusive relationship after 3 dates 100% of the time. I don't think I ever dated someone where that conversation didn't occur after the 3rd date.

Comments

mpbx3003.bsky.social•7 days ago

My record isn't 100% on that, but mostly because of a couple where it was fairly obviously working and we forgot to talk about it.

It's truly remarkable how bad dating seems to be for people. Like, I'm a fairly unattractive loser and I've been the Smithers meme before!

kevinlindsay.bsky.social•7 days ago

I do think apps have probably made dating worse for everyone. Big difference between like okcupid era online dating and today where things are gamified to a stupid level. I think we're seeing it creep into young women's spaces too with the growth of femcel stuff. Something's broken.

kimischilling.bsky.social•7 days ago

This is my old person yells at cloud thing. Go to parties and events in real life. See someone cute. Ask them on a date.

supersaunick.bsky.social•7 days ago

Totally agree, though based on anecdotal evidence I think a lot of guys have had their brain fried by online masculinity gurus and totally lost (or maybe never had) the ability to approach woman in a non creepy/aggressive way.

supersaunick.bsky.social•7 days ago

Was in a library recently and saw a guy aggressively approach a woman who was clearly just trying to get some work done in a quiet space, get rejected (in a much calmer and kinder way than he deserved), then walk back to his seat and loudly make a TikTok calling her all manner of epithets.

kimischilling.bsky.social•7 days ago

what da heck

supersaunick.bsky.social•7 days ago

Coincidentally, I asked out my gf in a library by unobtrusively slipping her a "Call me sometime?" note on my way out the door, and it worked like a charm.

I think these guys have just convinced themselves that dating is hard without introspecting about why dating is hard for *them* specifically.

kevinlindsay.bsky.social•7 days ago

I mean it's correct.

spizotfl.bsky.social•7 days ago

I’m in my late 40s. I never had the “are we exclusive” conversation, it just seemed understood. The way conventions change is fascinating.

joshredhelm.bsky.social•7 days ago

Idk what it is with straight guys, coming from a straight guy. Dating can be real easy! Match with them, set up a date within 10 messages or so, then see how it goes. If it doesn’t work out then fine, but just be clear upfront

mynameisdon.bsky.social•7 days ago

And like, respect her! Straight men who think they're owed a relationship because they paid for a dinner or something are pretty gross.

joshredhelm.bsky.social•7 days ago

I have literally no idea why that’s such a hard thing for people to grasp. It is so easy to be nice. More people should try it

mynameisdon.bsky.social•7 days ago

Then they use it as an excuse to be shitty to any woman. Just, don't. Take your L and move on. You will be happier in the long run.

Comments

Posting Rules

Reply