i wish there was a way i could sign up for "USPS+" and it's just the same as regular USPS but they come to my door and have a little chat, they only send real relaxed guys out to like 4 houses a day and they can hang around and help prune roses or inflate bicycle tires or whatever - ThreadSky

spindlypete.bsky.social • 47 days ago

i wish there was a way i could sign up for "USPS+" and it's just the same as regular USPS but they come to my door and have a little chat, they only send real relaxed guys out to like 4 houses a day and they can hang around and help prune roses or inflate bicycle tires or whatever

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h3xadecimal.theoverpowered.com•47 days ago

This service must exist bc I went to one of my neighbors' parties & our mailman was there. Made me question my assumptions that it surprised me, like who doesn't want to hang out with the mailman. You gotta chase after em their route to make friends or something

h3xadecimal.theoverpowered.com•47 days ago

He told me his name & I forgot which is why he doesn't come to my parties 😔

chompmancobra.bsky.social•47 days ago

I wish there was a thieves rune type deal like the Dwarfs put on Bilbo's door so delivery people and posties knew it would be cool if they ask to use the pisser, without me having to broach it with them

spindlypete.bsky.social•47 days ago

absolutely! they should adopt hobo code (did y'all have hobo code over there? the hieroglyphs that the train-riding hobos used to tell each other, like, "this house will give you pie" or "don't bother- grouchy" or similar?)

chompmancobra.bsky.social•47 days ago

I'm aware of it!
Soft touch/mean dog/will give you food for work etc

shit.postin.online•47 days ago

i applied for usps and one of the questions was like basically "lady stops you to ask about post office hours and stamps, what should you do?" and i was dinged points for saying i should stop and have a little chat and answer her questions and then they said "we don't need someone like you rn"

spindlypete.bsky.social•47 days ago

:( yes they do! they need an army of friendly chatters. that was wrong

spindlypete.bsky.social•47 days ago

you try asking your regular postman sometime if he wants to go to the neighborhood of make-believe. they'll put you on a list

octopusmask.bsky.social•47 days ago

If they ever offered banking with USPS like has been discussed over the last few decades, I would switch in a heartbeat.

thatgaydad.com•47 days ago

Just wait for USPS powered by amazon™

milkshakemotel.bsky.social•47 days ago

My neighborhood postman in high school WAS like this partly because he’d learned it would help him earn overtime

m01r4.bsky.social•47 days ago

genuinely if by some unhinged circumstance i became in charge of the apparatus of government i would make a department of vibes which would greatly expand the remit of the post office to include shit like “neighborhood handyman” and “the milk man” and “the ice cream man”

m01r4.bsky.social•47 days ago

soviet ice cream culture was good and we should emulate it: my official stance

postboyprime.bsky.social•47 days ago

been a carrier for 5 years. this would fix usps. and also me. i wanna do this

spindlypete.bsky.social•47 days ago

everybody who signs up could have to pass a background check or something so you don't have to hang out with anybody dangerous. you'd have built-in places to go potty

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