The fundamental issue I take with "there's no way anyone could have known!" as a stance w/ regard to sexual predators like Neil Gaiman is that implies that there's: Nothing to learn from this No way to prevent this Which are two things I fundamentally cannot agree with at all - ThreadSky

kennedytcooper.bsky.social • 43 days ago

The fundamental issue I take with "there's no way anyone could have known!" as a stance w/ regard to sexual predators like Neil Gaiman is that implies that there's:

Nothing to learn from this

No way to prevent this

Which are two things I fundamentally cannot agree with at all

Comments

tazman1a.bsky.social•43 days ago

Most of us don’t know criminals, so it comes as a surprise when it turns out we do. As for signs, as an outsider, it would need to be blatant.

shetef.bsky.social•43 days ago

I keep hearing it described as having been an "open secret" which...is not a secret

hercluesmooligan.bsky.social•43 days ago

I feel like the lesson I learned a long time ago was "don't worship people because you liked something they made."

Successful, famous people almost always get that way by being terrible.

perigee.geek.org•43 days ago

Amanda Palmer clearly was aware.

fabricdragon.bsky.social•43 days ago

Certainly there are ways this could have been found out!

It could likely have been PREVENTED by getting the scientology abuse survivor into actual therapy...before he hurt anyone else.

But don't blame people for not seeing it, either.

necrokitten.bsky.social•43 days ago

I have close friends that work within the same circles and were told even a decade ago to never go anywhere alone with Neil. Amanda's also never been a good person, her entire persona about having no money and crowdfunding was BS because she was also always well off. Glad it's coming out now

pymbalsamo.bsky.social•43 days ago

Exactly. There is always something to learn. You can never know if it is preventable or not until something is actually tried in order to prevent it. "No one way anyone could have known" just abdicates all responsibility to even try.

chickgonebad.bsky.social•43 days ago

Amanda Palmer could have said something. That would have been nice, given that she's supposedly a feminist.

kirke-apologist.bsky.social•43 days ago

She's been terrible and infamous forever for excellent reasons. I was not remotely shocked to learn of her complacency in everything

weberr13.bsky.social•43 days ago

not defending AFP but I do wonder if she was just as much of a victim as others in that he used his power over her too.

chickgonebad.bsky.social•43 days ago

I think that's a valid point. I don't know, and I can't know. I can wish she'd spoken up, but in the throes of a toxic relationship one can be stockholmed into collaboration.

weberr13.bsky.social•43 days ago

I will say she literally wrote songs about how their "open" relationship was filled with him sleeping with people she knew to make her feel bad, etc so in as much as she could she was trying to express something

chickgonebad.bsky.social•43 days ago

I had a partner like that. Turned out he was a rapist too. I didn't know at the time. I learned afterwards.

weberr13.bsky.social•43 days ago

I'm so sorry that you had a person like that in your life. what people like that do is on them and then best the rest of us can do is learn the warning signs.

calamitybunny.bsky.social•43 days ago

2/2 But as someone who spent years working on sex abuse cases, I can attest that sexual predators are very good at covering their tracks. And the very best are the ones like Neil, who convince the world, their victims, and themselves, that they are the allies and protectors.

calamitybunny.bsky.social•43 days ago

1/2 Yes, there are ways we could have known. Neil could have not used his victims’ own self-doubt and vulnerabilities to make them feel as if somehow they really had consented to acts to which they had not consented. Amanda could have listened to the women who came to her and called bullshit on him.

weberr13.bsky.social•43 days ago

Looking back to hearing Amanda Palmer describe how he cajoled her into a relationship and later marriage feels very different now. I was willing at the time to look past the creepy old guy vibes it gave me because she was so confident about it.

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