i want to think about post-post-apocalypse dad jon being scared to read books to his kid again. i want this guy refusing to buy used kids' books and quarantining new ones before they come inside and reading them a hundred times alone bc he'd rather something happen to him than martin or the baby - ThreadSky

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augustdepot.bsky.social • 33 days ago

i want to think about post-post-apocalypse dad jon being scared to read books to his kid again. i want this guy refusing to buy used kids' books and quarantining new ones before they come inside and reading them a hundred times alone bc he'd rather something happen to him than martin or the baby

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augustdepot.bsky.social•33 days ago

rotating like tiny, still new baby, a matter of weeks old, martin orders a bunch of older classic kid's books like "wow vintage is cool and reading to her early is important" about it, and when they get there, jon, already mid-ppd, opens the box then tosses it back outside and locks the door

agedcompost.bsky.social•33 days ago

do NOT show this guy Youtube Kids. he will have a paranoid breakdown at the impossibility of doing this for online videos. he buys some home tapes of Sesame Street from someone he trusts because he can vet them

agedcompost.bsky.social•33 days ago

his kid is the only one on the block who can operate a vcr

augustdepot.bsky.social•33 days ago

kermit is the only bitch in this world he can trust, no muppet is going to leitner his kid. gerry said there are no forces of good and he was WRONG. cookie monster is right here

freetobedeaddove.bsky.social•31 days ago

This brings up so many unfortunate if funny reactions if his kid actually gets into horror books.
“Hey how come you never take your goosebumps home?”
“My dad found it with my homework one time and he started weeping.”

augustdepot.bsky.social•31 days ago

truly love these poor dudes forever confronted by their shit when they least expect it, our 8 year old brought home a barely-scary chapter book with a big clown face on the front and now we have to pay the library for a new copy because jon set it on fire on the walkway

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