Weaponize your happiness/joy. It's an easy way to identify abusers early. anyone who looks down on you for enjoying your hobbies in your own space/time, harming no one, then they are telling you who they are at hello. Friends will choose not to participate if they aren't feeling it, not shame you. - ThreadSky

artofchira.bsky.social • 119 days ago

Weaponize your happiness/joy. It's an easy way to identify abusers early. anyone who looks down on you for enjoying your hobbies in your own space/time, harming no one, then they are telling you who they are at hello.

Friends will choose not to participate if they aren't feeling it, not shame you.

Reposted from Bitches Love Bunny ✨

If you’re over 30, quote this with some life advice 🤌🏼

Comments

newhologram.bsky.social•119 days ago

This is a big one! It can be hard to realize if we grew up being made fun of by family too. I thought it was normal so most of my life I had mean friends who put me down for my interests/hobbies. No more of that! Having friends who actually ask me what I'm up to even if they DGAF is so special.

ceylon-tae.bsky.social•118 days ago

Can't recommend it enough, cutting people out of your life who look down on you for trivial shit. I took so long to notice, but I feel so much better after cutting out the people who would always respond "i hate XYZ [that you like and that you mentioned]" or "why don't you get into ABC instead" 🙃

sarakinart.com•118 days ago

Oof same especially the taste thing. So toxic.

shaenon.bsky.social•119 days ago

Looking back, I suspect I avoided a lot of abusers in my youth by being so socially awkward that if someone was mean to me I just figured they didn't want to be around me and left, as opposed to getting into whatever manipulative game they were setting up.

artofchira.bsky.social•119 days ago

yep! abusers/predators/bullies get their hooks in by pushing boundaries to see what you're willing to tolerate. if you don't tolerate any kind of disrespect, they don't get far

artofchira.bsky.social•119 days ago

Force people to explain to you what harm you are doing by what you're doing. If they can't or don't have a reason beyond you're embarrassing/cringe, ignore them

artofchira.bsky.social•119 days ago

goes both ways too. I've had friends in the past go "hey that's kind of an assholish thing to say" to some remark I made and I'd either a) explain I didn't at all mean any harm and apologize, or b) recognize they're right, agree I was being an asshole and I don't know why I said that, and apologize

artofchira.bsky.social•119 days ago

stepping on toes is normal, it doesn't have to be a big deal, but definitely watch out for people who make it a big deal.

you should never feel justified in seeing other people as a punching bag, nor should you be anyone else's punching bag

sarakinart.com•118 days ago

I was in a discord server where someone acted as a warm cold friend for years toward me and acted like shit toward a friend of mine, so I ended up telling them to stop.
Apparently, I was the problem since the admin defended him.
He even acted obnoxious toward few friends of mine, but-

sarakinart.com•118 days ago

thanks to favoritism, he got away with it again.

Now I realize it, I face injustice a lot, especially toward my "friends," that I just cut ties with them since it will just be the discord situation anyway.
I'd rather stay alone than having fake asshole like him.

I left the said server also. If-

sarakinart.com•118 days ago

admins can't judge members equally, I'd rather leave than bearing toxicity.
I feel I have to justify myself for my "behavior" when the other party is obviously acting like a dick to me, and apparently, that's not an issue if it's them.

I just blocked them at the end of the day. Its the same as irl.

artofchira.bsky.social•119 days ago

should also note that if they explain to you a sound and compelling argument to harm you may not realize you're doing, then consider listening, but the right people will explain that to you out of concern for yours or others' well-being, not out of ridicule

atlascdn.bsky.social•119 days ago

The opposite on this is why I don't bring up stuff I'm interested in. I tend to get made fun of.

artofchira.bsky.social•119 days ago

Read my advice again

golvio.bsky.social•119 days ago

If anyone makes fun of you the second you outwardly express even an atom of happiness or passion, they aren’t worth keeping around. You can find better friends who don’t put you down to manipulate you into acting how they want.

deabreu-lucas.bsky.social•119 days ago

holy fucking shit, so fucking true.
SO. FUCKING. TRUE.

I ignored this red flag once, never again

chollasoledad.bsky.social•112 days ago

I learned this so late. But now I have known it half my life and rely on it as a screening device.

luxomancer.bsky.social•119 days ago

THIS, SO MUCH THIS. 😍

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