a neighbor i didn't like died from an infection a number of years back. and someone spread a rumor that they got the infection from using a dildo that floated into their garage during a flood
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A manager of a factory I worked at got caught on CCTV knobbing one of the account managers over his desk. The CCTV footage was deleted, but a rumour persisted that a copy had survived.
(upon finding a storm tossed dildo in your flooded garage) "I gusess every cloud has a silver lining" only to die at the hands of that self-samr dildo. A tragedy.
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And what a sweaty man he was when he heard it.