One of the conflicting sides to weight loss is very concretely realizing that many people treat you differently based on your size. On one hand, it is of course nice that people are friendly and treat you nicely, but it's also kinda sad that when I was heavier, it was almost as if I was invisible - ThreadSky

artvaris.bsky.social • 37 days ago

One of the conflicting sides to weight loss is very concretely realizing that many people treat you differently based on your size. On one hand, it is of course nice that people are friendly and treat you nicely, but it's also kinda sad that when I was heavier, it was almost as if I was invisible

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artvaris.bsky.social•37 days ago

I don't even remember the last time I received this many compliments or positive attention from strangers. I feel like people suddenly talk and smile at me a lot more - someone approached me at the library yesterday and asked my name and complimented my appearance out of the blue, which was baffling

artvaris.bsky.social•36 days ago

I'm also solely talking about face-to-face encounters and observations here. My personality hasn't changed so this has almost felt like some sort of a social experiment, it's weird

artvaris.bsky.social•36 days ago

I've never been super good at recognizing situations like this to begin with and I think it only got worse during the years where I felt more and more invisible, so I just awkwardly answered their questions and continued to work on my thesis. Smooooth

rciccolini.bsky.social•36 days ago

While some of it is superficial, I think that it's okay to admire and respect people who show results from a dedication to their fitness journey.

ordoalea.hr•37 days ago

I don't know if it's cultural or not. But agreed on this, specially seen with younger people in my region.

While older people are MORE likely to approach you if you're not thin, for younger people it's weirdly different.

artvaris.bsky.social•37 days ago

Yeah the change has been very noticeable, and the only thing that has changed is my size and appearance.

ordoalea.hr•37 days ago

12kg down and suddenly I'm getting hit on again...

artvaris.bsky.social•37 days ago

This is honestly so weird after around 8 years and getting used to feeling invisible during those years

ordoalea.hr•37 days ago

I'm married... I'm NOT looking to flirt or get hit on. But now my partner shoos them off with a besom.

artvaris.bsky.social•37 days ago

Yeah the situation at the library yesterday was really surprising, I kinda blacked out for a moment before I managed to say "thank you". They then tried to carry on the conversation by asking what I study, which baffled me even more so I think the whole convo was a bit awkward from my end

ordoalea.hr•37 days ago

But also do note. Even when I was with a huge gut. I was described as gorilla armed by people who train with me. So I kinda, if nothing, had like 40's aged women approaching me saying "Oh you're like a strongman?"

locus7.bsky.social•36 days ago

In addition to what you're saying, I suspect the muscle building is a factor.

Something socially similar happened to me, going from average/low body fat to noticably muscular, when I got into casual bodybuilding for a few months in my mid 20s. It was a jarring change that didn't always feels great.

artvaris.bsky.social•36 days ago

Could be, though I don’t feel like my progress is super visible with a loose T-shirt on and when I’m just sitting around so I’m not sure. But yeah it’s a weird mixture of feelings, especially since the change has been so sudden

sidiansonne.bsky.social•37 days ago

Jealous. I’ve lost weight, but I have too much skin still, and being in Southern California is hard due to bodyshaming microaggressions (even in the ER!).

eunie.bsky.social•37 days ago

this so much. I was extremely obese as a kid/teen and when I lost all of it (ngl I got an ed), everybody was so much nicer and a lot of the bullying stopped. I still feel so angry about it 10 years later. People should treat everyone nice by default and not have a bias based on weight.

artvaris.bsky.social•37 days ago

It is so weird when the change is so noticeable and sudden. On one hand, it's nice to feel like you're visible again and people treat you with kindness, but it's also sad since I was still the same person inside when I was heavier

denowylie.bsky.social•37 days ago

I've gotten random comments from coworkers about my weight, touching my arm concerned and telling me to "take care of myself" after I found ADHD meds that works for me and I could keep up with my strenght training that helps me feel stronger and better mentally. I've also seen how it messed with my

artvaris.bsky.social•37 days ago

Yeah there's a weird passive-aggressive side to those "you should eat more!" comments. One change that I *do* like tho after coming out and starting strength training: I no longer get called a "princess" by creepy cis men. I used to hear that a lot at some point and I always hated it.

denowylie.bsky.social•37 days ago

mom after she lost most of her weight in her late 50's after spending her whole life dieting: the sudden change from people around her was so fucked up. People should in general think twice before commenting on other peoples bodies and I've started to tell'em this whenever it happens.

artvaris.bsky.social•37 days ago

Yeah stuff like this can turn problematic, losing weight isn't always healthy and a sign of health and instead can be a sign of illness and if people give you tons of positive attention the thinner you get, that can be so bad.

michaelfrancis.art•36 days ago

i feel this heavy! i’ve lost around 80lbs over the last two years and i get WAY more compliments now than i did before. it’s been a weird feeling to deal with

artvaris.bsky.social•36 days ago

Yeah it's nice to be treated with kindness but getting compliments and positive attention after yeaaaars of just *cricket sounds* has also been weird due to how sudden the change has been, it's like I've become visible again

viichar.bsky.social•37 days ago

people being suddenly nice to me, complimenting me often, and holding doors open for me etc etc
i knew it would happen but its still frustrating and sad

artvaris.bsky.social•37 days ago

Yeah I started to notice this last summer after I had lost maybe 10kg, and now it has gotten even more noticeable. It's nice to be treated with kindness but it's also kinda f*cked up to feel like your worth as a person is so tied to your physical appearance and weight

toherrys.bsky.social•37 days ago

I’ve noticed the same but the inverse since I’ve gained a good amount of weight in the last years. If I’m not invisible people are just rude for no reason

artvaris.bsky.social•37 days ago

Yeah I also recognize the occasional rudeness and strangers surely didn't compliment me or give me positive attention. I got used to it since I was heavier for years so this sudden change has been very eye-opening when it comes to fatphobia

jthomasalbert.bsky.social•36 days ago

I understand this. Years ago, I tortured & starved myself to drive my weight down and was amazed how people who normally avoided looking at me suddenly made eye contact, smiled and wanted to engage me in conversation.

It made me hate them.

I stopped torturing myself to earn their approval.

(cont)

jthomasalbert.bsky.social•36 days ago

I still eat healthy and exercise, but I don't look like an underwear model.

jaredmart.bsky.social•36 days ago

Oh definitely. I was on the opposite end of the spectrum on my early 20s where I’d be called a stick or not masculine and because of that no one ever asked me for help with anything I think. When I started hitting the gym and getting bigger I noticed people asked me for help more often.

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