i mean… even if i go to shows say… in chicago. and there’s a large contingent of trans women there. nobody ever even talks to me anyways, much less hits on me. at work… i think i’ve been hit on like twice in over a decade. maybe. - ThreadSky

sarahxelizvbeth.bsky.social • 17 days ago

i mean…
even if i go to shows say… in chicago.
and there’s a large contingent of trans women there. nobody ever even talks to me anyways, much less hits on me.

at work… i think i’ve been hit on like twice in over a decade. maybe.

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sarahxelizvbeth.bsky.social•17 days ago

just feels like …

i don’t know.
the only people who want me are hours and hours away. and people don’t even seem to have a passing interest in person. so… feeling really hopeless about any sort of romantic future ever happening. much less any physical anything again.

drbbmath.bsky.social•17 days ago

Well maybe you need to be the one to get the ball rolling. I know you’re a softie but on the outside you’re intimidatingly cool. If I saw you at a show and didn’t know you, I would be anxious to approach.

If you just wanna bang, get on Grindr and cruise at the show.

sarahxelizvbeth.bsky.social•17 days ago

i’m always afraid of…i’m in my 40’s.
i’m not trying to hit on girls in their 20’s. so i don’t start anything. i don’t want to even accidentally be a creep.

and i’ve had SO many people warn me away from grindr. both trans girls AND gay guys. and i don’t think i have it in me to wade through it all.

sarahxelizvbeth.bsky.social•17 days ago

(also HUGE lack of experience figures in too. i’ve basically not done… hardly anything with hardly anybody. and it feels like if you’re on grindr… nobody’s looking for somebody middle aged with no clue what they’re doing)

drbbmath.bsky.social•17 days ago

That’s fair, Grindr is a ces pool, most of the time. And it’s often just about the physical. But I’ve successfully used it to find friends as well.

Just strike up conversations, it’s not creepy to talk to folks. It’s not inherently creepy to hit on folks younger than you either.

sarahxelizvbeth.bsky.social•17 days ago

you’d think after over 2 decades of going to shows, i’d know how to… start a conversation. but i’m a huge introvert & don’t actually know how. everybody always seems to have a pod of people. and you can’t just… interject yourself into that as a stranger usually.

sarahxelizvbeth.bsky.social•17 days ago

that and…

locally i am THE trans girl at shows.
chicago is a couple hours away.

so its people i may not even ever see again. and don’t live anywhere near me

drbbmath.bsky.social•17 days ago

That sounds like the perfect kinda person to hook up with then. If it’s awkward or terrible you never have to see them again 😅

drbbmath.bsky.social•17 days ago

You really can’t… it’s hard. Most of the time I chat a girl up it’s in line for the bathroom 😅

sarahxelizvbeth.bsky.social•17 days ago

i don’t go to a ton of shows out of town (lack of time really) and there’s almost never a line.

right now i don’t even have tickets for any shows at all. which is very strange for me. no fests or anything.

drbbmath.bsky.social•17 days ago

I know it’s hard, god knows I’m terrible at it. But you do have to put yourself out there and take risks if you want to meet people.

kayladares.bsky.social•17 days ago

I ended up sorta accidentally running a major local discord, which means all the girls in their 20s hooking up, and a handful of 35+ folks floating around, and it's cool, but also like. be nice to be in a position to just easily flirt and dm and go from there.

sarahxelizvbeth.bsky.social•17 days ago

there’s barely a handful of 35+ trans women here. a majority are mid-20’s or younger. and the 30’s are mostly married/long term monogamous partners.

kayladares.bsky.social•17 days ago

yeah. so probably a higher number of people here? yeah. same general issue? also yeah.

kayladares.bsky.social•17 days ago

haha wow nice to see you all... yup yeah okay that sounded like a good time... oh well

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