Copypasta from Discord, 100% serious: Part of my head canon is that Hawk intentionally built the G.I.JOE team out of legit weirdos who would be unpredictable to anyone else on the planet but each other, like a weird jazz band using time signatures only they understand. - ThreadSky

scrollboss.bsky.social • 19 days ago

Copypasta from Discord, 100% serious: Part of my head canon is that Hawk intentionally built the G.I.JOE team out of legit weirdos who would be unpredictable to anyone else on the planet but each other, like a weird jazz band using time signatures only they understand.

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otherverseg.bsky.social•19 days ago

I always assumed Hawk personally wrote this file card and the reference to BBQ being able to deep throat a Coke bottle was a euphemistic "fuck you" to the regular military.

"You gonna kick this soldier out for being gay? Fuck that, he's gonna be the team firefighter aboard my USS Flagg."

scrollboss.bsky.social•19 days ago

That's EXACTLY how those filecards felt to me, too. The unpredictable people shunned in all the regular places fit right in the G.I.JOE team.

scrollboss.bsky.social•19 days ago

When G.I.JOE first starts, it's 13 Joes versus Cobra Commander and his cult-militia army of Troopers and Officers built for obedience, brute force, pageantry and fighting conventional forces. Then here comes G.I.JOE with a secret ninja and a grown woman who uses throwing stars. Plan against THAT.

scrollboss.bsky.social•19 days ago

Truth! On the Discord, the person reading the old Hama run of Joe comics posted that time when Airtight wrecked Cobra's plans by throwing a first-aid kit filled with scorpions through a windshield. G.I. JOE has answers more insane than any questions they're ever asked.
https://bsky.app/profile/brettlybrett.bsky.social/post/3lhrwkb2s4s2y

scrollboss.bsky.social•19 days ago

The real answer to Cobra getting more and more characters was Hasbro seeing that villains actually sold if they don't suck so the made more. But, head canon again, CC regularly getting bodied by the cast of the Ninth Configuration made him realize he needed to roll with more eccentrics.

scrollboss.bsky.social•19 days ago

What's the Ninth Configuration?
"In this cult classic, an unhinged Army psychiatrist takes charge of a mental hospital and encourages his patients to act out their bizarre fantasies."

https://tubitv.com/movies/466968/the-ninth-configuration

scrollboss.bsky.social•18 days ago

Stacy Keach's character in that movie fit and cemented my idea of Hawk. Dusty would show up like "I found me a Coyote and now he's my best friend" and Hawk would just say, "have Junkyard and Timber sniff him out and file a report by 18:00."

https://www.yojoe.com/action/91/dusty3.shtml

victorperfecto.bsky.social•19 days ago

And CC getting weird made the Joes weirder! "This guy likes modern music and wears a non-regulation beard" eventually gives way for "this guy is a shirtless Asian Stuntman"

victorperfecto.bsky.social•19 days ago

This is one of the reasons I'm team "no Green Shirts;" COBRA can have their Viper Hordes but the Joes HAVE to be cherry picked idiosyncratic high achieving weirdos

scrollboss.bsky.social•19 days ago

That's exactly where I'm coming from about that, along with "the good guys always have to be outnumbered) thing, which is why I was passing up new stuff to army build Cobra Troopers even back then.

victorperfecto.bsky.social•19 days ago

Sunbow was my childhood gateway into the franchise but the older I get the more I appreciate the Original 13 as a tight knit unit before everyone's cartoon favorites took over

brettlybrett.bsky.social•19 days ago

Agreed. This dude brings a vacuum to war.

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