I once had an Austin allegro van den plas, it had a teak dashboard. The nearside front wheel fell off in a bus stop so I abandoned it. The police came knocking on my door but I was too frightened to answer it because I was off my noodle on acid.
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Oh my, the Austin Aggro! Clutch cable went as we were going round the Elephant and Castle roundabout and we got stuck at some traffic lights. Bloody thing
Is this a shit-car-off? Here’s my entry. A Peugeot 504 saloon in poo brown and rust. Had a short-circuit that drained the battery, so I had to pop the bastard out every time I parked. Because it’s a Peugeot, the battery was at the bottom of the engine compartment.
Austin 1300- doors wouldn't shut due to bent subframe, had to arc the battery to get it going. Volvo 440- the flying turd, cost a pound a mile in petrol to run, 1997. Renault 5- blew up on m54. Fiat 125- was interviewed under caution for producing fraudulent documentation at the post office.
Also, the allegro: brother put screwdriver in ignition. Fitted new ignition but hit the plastic cowling on dash and destroyed indicators etc. had to use a number of tweezers to connect indicators etc.
I had a white mini 1000 had to learn to change clutch plates every 2000 miles. Did it on the M6 once. Had new plates welded into the foot well so I stopped seeing the road.
On a slightly more positive note I had an Austin Maestro which was technically a kit car as it was made of spare parts left over when the factory shut. I sold it on ebay to someone who was delighted to get it because it had been on top gear at some point in the past.
I once had a type 123 Mercedes which was so sluggish I had to relearn to drive when I sold it, because I had the accelerator mashed to the floor at all times. But, terrific car otherwise.
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Left the bastard smoking and spluttering .. rozzers never came round.. suspect scrap dealers took it