If this is you, if you're an "ally" and you are cutting ties and backing away from the people in your life who are about to go through hell because it'll be too hard to witness, you are not an ally.
What have you even done to fight for these people you supposedly care about?
What have you even done to fight for these people you supposedly care about?
Reposted from
Anna Phylaxis
i feel fairly confident that it's not just you.
i think a lot of cis folks are emotionally preparing to cut ties with their trans friends and kin, so as not to be exposed to the pain of what they know is coming.
i think a lot of cis folks are emotionally preparing to cut ties with their trans friends and kin, so as not to be exposed to the pain of what they know is coming.
Comments
Emotionally I am bracing for no ties with most of my family and people I've called friends at different points because they are about to comply. And they know I believe they are wrong but they don't care.
You could be helping folks build up HRT stockpiles.
You can be EMPLOYING trans people so they have job security and money and the ability to pay rent.
You can be calling your representatives and calling out their bullshit discriminatory actions.
Are you defending them against the spurious claims of your friends and family?
Are you putting your consumer money into trans-supporting and trans-employing businesses?
Are you helping trans folks?
Are you joining people in your specific professions who are making safe spaces for trans folks in your industry?
Are you supporting trans-owned businesses?
Are you hosting gender- inclusive events?
Are you intervening when bigots act out?
Are you making safe space for the people in your life to be themselves, unquestioned?
Are you able to lend a supportive shoulder or ear to help people cope and survive?
You may not be able to stockpile HRT or hire trans people. That's ok.
You CAN learn more about trans politics and how to support trans people in your community.
You CAN make a habit of fighting your own ingrained gender binary assumptions.
You CAN make room for nonjudgmental gender exploration in your life.
https://bsky.app/profile/northwind.bsky.social/post/3lg6zyhbcvs2m
It's hard.
I'll continue to argue (despite the fact that what we need are structural changes and legislation) individuals have a role in making things incrementally better and pushing for structural change.
I'm looking at it from a reminder and reinforcement angle - that small things still help
But that's where you all get to judge us on our ally status.
Including pessimistic reviews.
Ally isn't a thing one calls themself, it's a thing that's earned by actually being an ally in hard times and good.
Learning to be with people who are frightened and in pain, and to lean into sharing their fear and pain instead of running from it, are very important parts of being a mature human being.
And they're hard to learn.
But we need to learn them.
Because we'll carry regrets forever for ghosting a grandma or a bff and WE will also experience this same abandonment - so it's in our best interest to work to address this.