Also, props to all the people who did the research on which mushrooms were which. “Write this down: the brown ones here let you talk to dead relatives and the red ones over there make you into one of them.”
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*Slides red mushrooms across counter*
There you go. These will let you see the depths of the universe.
Oh, you want to come back afterwards?
*Slowly withdraws package and slides brown mushrooms across counter*
Okay… Jerry said that one tastes a little like beef, that one killed Phil in about 15 seconds, and that one… well, Ed woke up 12 hours later naked and talking to the Sun God…
Big shoutout to the OG mushroom researchers real heroes of trial and error. “Okay, so these ones are a snack, these ones are a trip, and these ones? Well… Harold didn’t make it, but now we know!” True pioneers in fungal science!
It’s the pure gleaming white one that will kill you ten or twelve different ways. Why do fungal fruiting bodies contain so many toxins? But rabbits can eat them unscathed. 🐇
On the Yukon River I met a guy who dried fly agaric mushrooms, known be poisonous. Hestarted with very small amounts, if he felt sick at all he moved to the next batch. Then slowly upped the dosage. They bend the space time continuum, in your head.
I went collecting mushrooms with a friend once, for his vegan restaurant, at 5am in the hills above Valencia. "Be very careful not to collect or even touch these, they turn one's vision emerald green for about 7 hours" - I will always wonder
See, this is now two things that I don’t want to carry around with me. I’d probably just wind up stuffing them in my mouth and saying, “hey, Valhalla, maybe.”
I've taken Chicken of the Woods, Beefsteak and Penny Bun. There is nothing close to a toxic look a like for them. Found some trooping funnel bit the slugs or squirrels got there first.
Apparently so amongst both the Sami people traditional reindeer herders and their counterparts in Siberia who share a similar nomadic herding lifestyle.
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"...well that person also died. Turns out that three times is the magic number."
There you go. These will let you see the depths of the universe.
Oh, you want to come back afterwards?
*Slowly withdraws package and slides brown mushrooms across counter*
Must have been a hungover decision.
Also now I can't hear a Norwegian accent and take the speaker at all seriously
Or some guy who really wanted to eat pufferfish and was like, “I’m gonna find a way to make this spiky death trap edible even if it kills me”.
https://www.themarginalian.org/2019/11/25/the-mushroom-hunters-animation-neil-gaiman/
They’ll both let you meet your ancestors in one way or the other. 💀