I have some time before an appointment but not enough to start something else Anyone around for an impromptu #RevPit #10Queries? - ThreadSky

jenichappelle.bsky.social • 2 days ago

I have some time before an appointment but not enough to start something else

Anyone around for an impromptu #RevPit #10Queries?

Comments

lenorejames.bsky.social•2 days ago

jenichappelle.bsky.social•2 days ago

Q11: Adult horror. Query is *fine.* But there are hints here that it's not doing justice to the premise and the story (strong comps, very cool premise hidden in 3rd paragraph). Refocusing on the most important elements (characters, stakes, main conflict) will let the premise shine #RevPit #10Queries

jenichappelle.bsky.social•2 days ago

P11: Writing shows so. much. promise. Great interiority, voice, internal conflict. But scene is very static + lacks structure. Give that great voice + reactions as the character interacts, not just observes. Is this a problem throughout the ms? Excited to find out. #RevPit #10Queries

jenichappelle.bsky.social•2 days ago

Q12: Adult fantasy. Query is a little too long. There's too much explanation, worldbuilding, and backstory. We don't need to know all of these details. Rely on what your reader knows from other similar stories to give them the idea + use word count on YOUR story #RevPit #10Queries

jenichappelle.bsky.social•2 days ago

P12: Short but "telly" prologue. Doesn't seem necessary but also doesn't seem terrible. 1st scene needs a little more context about why the MC's actions matter. 2nd scene gives context and has very little action. Combine them for 1 strong scene with action AND context #RevPit #10Queries

jenichappelle.bsky.social•2 days ago

Q13: Adult Fantasy Choppy premise summary makes it hard to tell if the story isn't quite as cozy as the comps or if it's just how it's being explained. But I really love the premise and how you use real-world issues in this speculative context. I definitely want to read more. #RevPit #10Queries

jenichappelle.bsky.social•2 days ago

P13: Slow pace + focus on interiority at odds with very emotional moment right at the beginning, which we can understand but don't really have the context. No external conflict in this scene. Overall this sub gives the impression that this story doesn't really know what it is yet. #RevPit #10Queries