Brexit thread (from 2020)
UK: We don't like our trade deal
EU: Why not?
UK: We only get 95% of what we want
EU: It only gives us 95% too. That's how negotiating goes
UK: We want a new deal that gives us everything we can think of
EU: But you signed a deal
UK: We don't care, we hate you
1/21
UK: We don't like our trade deal
EU: Why not?
UK: We only get 95% of what we want
EU: It only gives us 95% too. That's how negotiating goes
UK: We want a new deal that gives us everything we can think of
EU: But you signed a deal
UK: We don't care, we hate you
1/21
Comments
UK: Surprised? We elected people to go to your meetings specifically to say we hate you
EU: And how is Nigel?
UK: Not happy
EU: Why not?
UK: TV has dried up. So we want a new deal, and we want it in 3 weeks, or we cancel our existing deal
EU: Hold on, say that again?
EU: Er… suits us!
UK: Wait, what?
EU: Perfect. Do it. Walk away. Take Nigel with you
UK: No, hold on, wait: you have to negotiate, so Boris can win
UK: That's right
EU: But if we don't negotiate, we still have our 95%…
UK: Woah, hold on
EU: … and you have nothing
EU: And if we don't have a deal, we don't have to put up with you shitting on our lawn
UK: The Daily Mail made us do it and then ran away!
EU: I just found this spine. Is it yours?
UK: Welp!
EU: So we'll just sit this one out
---
USA: Yo suckers
UK: We are here to get a lovely big trade deal
USA: Sure thing. Obey existing deals, and give us 100% of everything, plus 51% controlling share in the NHS, and you get, let's see, 60% of what you have now
USA: OK, Bye
UK: What?
USA: Bye. Talks are over, the Special Relationship is over, your country is over. Bye
UK: But we haven't got a deal, and we told everyone it would be easy!
US: we don't want to give you a trade deal. We want you to spy for us in the EU.
Maybe next time, eh?