Because I see this going around, I did want to just say that I am not the same way. If I don’t hear from you for weeks or months at a time, our friendship does decay. After a year we are essentially different people to each other. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, either. - ThreadSky

rodshark.one • 12 days ago

Because I see this going around, I did want to just say that I am not the same way.

If I don’t hear from you for weeks or months at a time, our friendship does decay. After a year we are essentially different people to each other. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, either.

Reposted from Drake, The Rattling Dragon

Saw this and wanted to share it cause it’s 100% true for me!

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rodshark.one•12 days ago

You know, thinking on this more, I think this issue has also lead to my addiction to social media. Getting likes from friends on my posts makes me feel like, "Wow, they still think about me and care!" and then the friendship decay gets stalled a little. And then it remains stagnant.

rodshark.one•12 days ago

I wish I could think of us as friends always, but that is not the case. We keep in touch, or we drift apart. Many times that is no one single person’s fault. But that is the way my brain operates.

xanadeas.bsky.social•12 days ago

I'm kinda the same way. If someone never messages me for months on end then the friendship is dead to me. I learned the hard way that people who wanna be in your life will put in the effort. I spent years trying to keep a friendship alive that was long dead.

rodshark.one•12 days ago

I feel the same way. I think the mistake I've made in the past is trying to be friends with people who don't put in the same amount of energy into a friendship that I do, so right from the start the dynamic is uneven. I end up having the whole friendship by myself. Very unhealthy pattern for me.

rodshark.one•12 days ago

My own friendship issues came from prioritizing too much of my life over keeping those friendships alive. "I need to paint today, I need to meal prep, I need to..." but then I never made friends the need.

Part of the work I've been doing in my 30s is prioritizing my friends more. For me and them!

xanadeas.bsky.social•12 days ago

Honestly? Good on you. There are so many people who just won't put in that effort. will make excuses for it and say that it's not their fault. and sometimes it isn't but it only takes seconds to say "Hi, hope you're well. I was thinking of you."

rodshark.one•12 days ago

I'd like to believe it comes from a good place of, "I want to spend time with you, but I would feel guilty indulging in good times when I should be working." That sort of mentality is what kept me from spending more time with friends, at least. But that mentality was wrong on a ton of levels.

spyre.hoot.gay•12 days ago

I appreciate you sharing your perspective on this, it’s definitely an interesting discussion.

rodshark.one•12 days ago

I appreciate you saying so! I don’t like to do this whole “everyone is saying one thing, let me say I’m different,” because it feels attention seeking. But this topic was just very front and center of a bunch of my friendship issues over the last couple of months, so it felt on topic for me.

spyre.hoot.gay•12 days ago

I hear ya! I think about this thing a little too much to be frank. I’m always looking for new perspectives on it, while checking in on how I feel about it all. I do hope your friendship stuff irons out as you wish for it to, though.

azureanwolf.bsky.social•12 days ago

Yeah. I don't get friendship decay, honestly. It's like a segment of my brain that just holds things in stasis if that makes sense.

But I know my brain is unique and has different rules socially.

rodshark.one•12 days ago

I honestly think that's great!! And I wish I was more like you and others. But as much as I try, friendship drift happens to me practically every day. Small, incremental distance, but distance all the same.

bunwizard.bsky.social•12 days ago

and i think i try to reach out to you as often as i possibly can! i treasure you very much!

rodshark.one•12 days ago

You do a super job of it, Julian! I’m not worried about our friendship at all!

bunwizard.bsky.social•12 days ago

im glad! i can't imagine a time when we're not friends!

clockworkmonkey.bsky.social•12 days ago

Hi, checking in to see how many hearts we still have

rodshark.one•12 days ago

We’re full at the moment!!

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