Dear Elon,

Thanks for emailing me, here's the 5 things I accomplished:

1. Sold my Tesla
2. Deleted X
3. Threw eggs at a Cybertruck
4. Shitposted about you on Bluesky
5. Protested with #TeslaTakedown at a Tesla dealership

Fire me, Twitler

Please, I'm begging you
Reposted from Dave Levitan
Here’s the email everyone is getting from OPM. Embarrassing stuff.

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