found it, but before now:

the 5 places i looked for my phone ‐

1. the sink of dishwater
2. inside the dishwasher
3. in the refrigerator
4. i̶n̶s̶i̶d̶e̶ t̶h̶e̶ m̶i̶c̶r̶o̶w̶a̶v̶e̶ ... no, not the microwave; i havent used it today... in the breadbox!
5. inside the oven

*fyi, it was on the couch*