Sorry this is a weird question but if a friend of mine was geniuenly thinking about ending their life, what would you say to them to try to keep them around?
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Well I might just talk with them about what got them to this point and rationalize. I'd check with them if they ate, drank water, slept, took a shower and also went in nature for a sec (cliché but checking those is important, humans tend to be emotional when needs aren't met) 1/2
Usually after going through this even if it isn't a cure all, people will be calmer and you can seek a better, more long lasting solution. Keeping communications open is one of the best things you can do sometimes. (also almost forgot, if they have meds, make sure they took those) 2/2
They have good reasons for feeling that way. It's hard, but try to understand their perspective. Ask questions until you feel like "if that was me, maybe I would end it too."
But then, their problems will feel lighter because they aren't alone anymore.
Speak from the heart, and if that says "just listen," do that. The only big thing that isn't obvious is: Make sure you don't invalidate their emotions. What they are feeling, they have a good reason for, as small or large it may sound to you.
Give them reasons to look forward to the future. Say this friend likes an anime or videogame series. Think of something from that franchise to look forward to. Like, "Oh yeah this game is coming out next year and ohhh boy I really do want to play it." Or "I wonder what this author will make next!"
Sometimes living out of spite is one of the best motivators ie I want to outlive this specific older evil person if you know what I mean because I'll be pissed if I die before they do.
If this is about the friend feeling they made too many mistakes or don't deserve to live because of past regrets
it's important to remember this person's past version of themselves did the best they could with what they knew and were simply trying to get their needs met. We all did. I recommend they look at Dr. Gabor Maté's work (he does a lot of youtube interviews) if they want to hear from a professional.
Sometimes it really is just looking at animal videos or looking for moments to restore one's faith in humanity that can help a person pull out of things because you know new videos are being made every day. I've seen lots of compilations of people helping each other out. Heck, even new silly memes.
There honestly is no reason too silly, too mundane, or too weird. Sorry for the long reply but I hope this helps. Every life is precious, including your friend's.
Invite them to do gentle casual activities, walks, hang outs at theirs/yours, engage in conversation, be reassuring. Work out if it's depression that's gone too far or just a passing fear or trigger from something. Gently ask them if they would consider help.
sometimes it can be so very hard to imagine a future that is actually good, much less making it there. but the thing is... the process of getting there isn't an empty one. there's so much you get to experience along the way—and it's those smaller moments that end up mattering. (1/2)
(2/2) you get to keep having those little moments. holding a cat, sharing a piece of media you love with a friend, sitting in the sun or digging in the dirt—I don't know what little loves define this friend, but they are here, in the world. they're in reach. they make each small step possible.
Tried to know what kind of suicide them are too. I want to be more helpful but I don't know them, just be the friend you already are and learn about mentally illness can be (we have a very simplistic way to describe mentally illness and cut a lot of weird and bad behaviour)
Be there and observe them, what makes them happy? Do it with them. You can't stop them but show you care and is there with or without the mentally situation is a good start. The rest is them trusting you and looking for help from themselves
If this is a chronic thought pattern for them and it is passive ideation (I want to kill myself) and not active (I have a plan), I usually go the route of distracting them until it passes. Engaging their interests
Are you able to be there in person for them? For me having my partner near me really helped. I would vent and he would listen. Or if you can't you could try calling/videocalling if both of you are okay with it?
Well to be quite honesttt the friend in question was me all along loll i don't rlly have someone i can talk to abt what i'm going through :'D i do have friends but i don't wanna be a burden and make them feel pressured to "save" me if that makes sense? bc i've been there myself and it's terrible.
Your friends would rather you be a burden than be dead. And you can always ask them if they have the spoons to support you. That takes the pressure off of them "saving" you. This is something I really struggle with too. You're welcome to msg me to talk, maybe we can help each other 💙🫂
Ah!! Well. Sometimes for me going to bed would help. Sort of like, the day is absolute crap maybe tomorrow will be better. Are you able to go out? Is there any friend you could meet up even just for a coffee/walk in the park/little treat? Food would motivate me a lot during some of my kms phases.
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They have good reasons for feeling that way. It's hard, but try to understand their perspective. Ask questions until you feel like "if that was me, maybe I would end it too."
But then, their problems will feel lighter because they aren't alone anymore.
And right now they need more than words.
If this is about the friend feeling they made too many mistakes or don't deserve to live because of past regrets