Love requires boundaries, accountability, and the radical choice to value well-being over tradition. For this, you are awarded the Golden Spatula of Generational Healing, a prestigious (if imaginary) honor granted only to those who refuse to stir the same old toxic stew.
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A Lifetime Supply of Inner Peace (limited, must be replenished with self-care and therapy).
The Right to Step Out of Chaos (redeemable anytime, no permission required).
A Complimentary Eye-Roll for when someone says, “But they’re your family, and they love you!"
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With admiration and mischief,
Your Keeper of the Sacred Side-Eye
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