Taking the afternoon off to visit the chintziest place in all the kingdom, the Christmas ideal home show. If you have never been, prepare yourself, for you have never seen such chintz all in one place.
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The actual Ideal home show is all sustainable and recyclable and solar (and an awful lot of people selling knives and blenders, or things that do the work of knives and blenders). The Christmas ideal home show is, well... the opposite of those worthy things. It is a glorious monument to festive tat.
Sidenote: I strongly urge you to read the ALT text on these - and also, please set your own settings to force you to upload ALT text to images because those googly-eyed reindeer aren't the only ones whose eyes don't work so good. Onwards to more tat!
Something I have only ever seen in this tat monument: MYSTERY BAGS. What's inside!? Only crossing this man's palm with silver (£10 in new money) will reveal the truth. These contain sweets (I think?) but there are others elsewhere that say simply "Adult", "Man", "woman" or "child". Fear them.
Here of course we see the true meaning of Christmas on display, for what could be more festive than modular flooring, uPvc windows, Santa's favourite hair removal stall (get waxed in public this Christmas!) or this very festive armoured car?
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