There's the healthy way to not play the game, which is to just fuckin talk to people, just get over myself and do it, acknowledge that it's been a while since I lost contact and just say a thing, and handle their response and my feelings about it after it happens,
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The bird site used to be a pretty good chat room in the sense of, it used to be a place I could go to talk to myself to talk to people
But whenever I needed I talk to people, I could slip into my own little warm toasty pool of Online, relax & play & be comforted by my friends
& I would love to be doing that right now but trying to do that feels like trying to build a house during a monsoon
A killing blizzard of Real Life Shit is happening right now and I find myself in possession of insufficient protection from the inclement weather
I might as well have glowing buttons that say "help him" and "abandon him" floating next to me. This storm is awful & it's gonna fucking kill people. Maybe even me