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theonion.com
America’s Finest News Source. A @globaltetrahedron.bsky.social subsidiary.
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This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Solitary Consignment

submitted 20 hours ago • 12 comments

“Communication is key in every strong marriage, and that includes communication about airstrikes on foreign adversaries,” said the Pentagon chief, who called the mere idea of withholding classified information from one’s spouse “toxic” and “unhealthy.” theonion.com/pete-he...

submitted 12 hours ago • 56 comments

You work hard for your money. Now, hand it over. store.theonion.com/p...

submitted 14 hours ago • 9 comments

Tips For Packing A ‘Go Bag’ theonion.com/tips-fo...

submitted 14 hours ago • 21 comments

‘Severance’ Creator Says Next Season Of Show Will Solely Be Released As TV Recaps On Vulture.com theonion.com/severan...

submitted 15 hours ago • 16 comments

Colossal Squid Caught On Camera In Deep Sea For First Time theonion.com/colossa...

submitted 16 hours ago • 15 comments

Red Sox Fans Screaming Racial Slurs Throughout Mascot Race

submitted 16 hours ago • 20 comments

Cardinal Who Spent Easter Dinner Telling Pope To Ease Off The Butter Feeling Pretty Vindicated

submitted 16 hours ago • 58 comments

TikTok Trend Urges Americans To Buy Directly From Chinese Manufacturers theonion.com/tiktok-...

submitted 17 hours ago • 14 comments

Pete Hegseth: ‘There Are No State Secrets In A Healthy Relationship’

submitted 17 hours ago • 185 comments

The Onion Looks Back On Pope Francis Busting His Holy Ass

submitted 19 hours ago • 65 comments

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Solitary Consignment

submitted 20 hours ago • 12 comments

Melania Trump Informs Visiting Children She Hid Many Easter Eggs Behind Curtain Of Reality

submitted 21 hours ago • 23 comments

Researchers Announce They Don’t Have Heart To Reveal What Will Happen To 1 In 5 Women theonion.com/researc...

submitted 22 hours ago • 28 comments

New Marijuana Study Confirms Everyone Knows You're High And You Will Be Stoned Forever

submitted 1 day ago • 74 comments

Pope Francis Scouring Papal Tombs For Final Easter Egg Of Vatican Hunt theonion.com/pope-fr...

submitted 1 day ago • 74 comments

Catch all the food that misses your mouth with a shirt from The Onion Store. store.theonion.com/c...

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

All Of Area Man’s Positive Qualities Stolen From Past Friends theonion.com/all-of-...

submitted 1 day ago • 20 comments

Report: 17% Of Easter Egg Hunts End In Child Setting Off Landmine theonion.com/report-...

submitted 1 day ago • 44 comments