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2cool4suicide.bsky.social
Entering my late 20s having accomplished nothing of note I consider the life I've led so far to be a complete failure
175 posts 75 followers 302 following
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i just lost my life savings to this scammer!!!!

“and these feelings of wanting to unalive yourself… they began during the panini?” - my thegrapist

i ordered the chicken breast and the waiter said “how would you like your eggs?” i answered anyways, “seggsed with! incubated, raised, plucked, unalived, cut up, and then cooked on a grill”

piss in the sink keep the loo humble 🔥

strong password suggestion: theGay-jakkoffer-4bigBalls

i thought wii was close, wii U(sed) to hang out, but you switch-ed up on me and so i had to switch 2 men 😤💯👨‍❤️‍👨

Martin Luther King more like Hawkin Tuahthat Thang... yikes

This is every animal I ate in 2024: Chicken, Cow, Pig, Donkey, Shrimp, Cod, Ostrich, Kangaroo, Sheep, Deer, Boar, Lamb, Rabbit, Frog, Duck, Turkey, Friend's hamster, Goose, Pigeon, Trout, Puppy, Halibut, Pigeon (again), Chameleon, Salmon, Human, Mussels, Komodo Dragon

nice argument. however i have already portrayed myself as the Latin King eight year old and you as the seething moon-faced cop.

bro had on a cape i said “youre nosferatu!!!! >_ <” he hit me with his cane hard on my rump, tipped his trilby and flipped the bird

i love eating Clif Bloks, because they are easy to chew

the real redpill is that the serpent was right. the garden of eden was boring, and the fruit of truth delicious

goals

imagine floating in space. what a disgusting animal.

thinkin' i'm gonna stop eating meat. not extending this decision to fish. they are heinous affronts and do not have my sympathy. fish refuse to accept the social contract, and thus we have the right to fuck them up to hell's end. they would do the same to us, it's clear

deaths by suicide and deaths by car crash are roughly equal each year in the united states

what if i posted a hilarious bluesky post, and it made you laugh and it made you happy. imagine i end up making your day with a bluesky post because it’s so good and funny? that’s never gonna happen though. i guess because i’m just an idiot. i guess i’m just so stupid and you hate me

*gets depressed for no reason* o nuuuu >. <

How could Joe Rogan be propaganda? He smokes weed

my name jeff <- serious

im shy and i have a blankie and i watch Barney. and i dont give a fuck

dumb stacy who rejected me upon meeting up: oh you’re 9 inches taaaall…. me: [clearly yelling but im too tiny to be audible]

ah jeez my back hurts so bad… i think i gotta kill a CEO or something

how the grinch smoked weedmas

i put all my eggs in one basket so theyre easier to count before they hatch

Anyone who is celebrating the grinch is a leftist. They're doing it because Santa is a white man. Matt Walsh has an excellent video about it

you can now download the full assad collection

ooh my big broobs hoittt 😖 <- shut up bitch!

my mcdonalds? medically necessary due to my restrictive eating. my buttplug? medically necessary to soothe my anxiety. my handgun? medically necessary, anxiety. my pitbull? medically necessary. my machete? again, it’s medicinal. i’m allowed to have all these things on the train.

if banksy was a dog he would be barksy? wow i didnt know that. youre telling me now for the first time.

Luigi is a kind-hearted, honest Italian plumber and the younger brother of Mario.

oh you dont like me? 😔 you didnt respond sooo… 😔 i guess you dont like me 😔 i guess you hates me 😔 prefer i be dead in a ditch 😔 near a gutter under an overpass creek water dead rotting deer. yea iget it 😔 no its fine really

acab includes the k9 units who i regularly tease by having them smell treats and then eating them for myself (they are dry and taste rancid)