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2tickytacky.bsky.social
Public Relations Manager for Rev. Dr. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof- Pastor at Assembly Of Bluesky. Steampunk Jarvik 7 on Etsy for $74.99 I'm not Lisa. My name is Julie 🏳️‍⚧️. she/her https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabsfrnzo2wy
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Who said skeets/posts have to make sense? Are you out of your mind?

Rock shrimp are just like regular shrimp except they hold up lighters during ballads and solos.

I saw you from across the bar and I’m dead inside, what’s your story?

Nine olives in my Greek salad today. So this is how billionaires feel.

fun fact: 47.1% of nba players playing today are named jalen

Now, a message from Rev. Dr. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof: My cross town bingo rival promises family friendly fun. Rest assured, there will be none of that noise at Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. God bless.

was using the self checkout and all the heavy items were upside down in my cart with the barcode up to make it easy to scan. Guy behind me in a MAKE AMERICA HEALTHY AGAIN hat said "dang that's smart". I replied "thanks, my autistic kid taught me to do this"

(pete hegseth in 5 years) *shouting over the Daytona bar band music to a girl* NO NO I WASN'T A SECRETARY.. I WAS THE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE, I WAS THE GUY IN CHANGE OF THE MILITARY

I get more nervous waking my daughter up to get ready for school in the morning than I did jumping out of a C-130 into the darkness at low altitude with 150lbs of gear strapped to my body into enemy fire

Ordering breakfast in bad faith

Whosever elected Pope should make it a rule that mass ends w a sing along to Zeppelin’s Houses of The Holy. Watch how many ppl start showin up. Tappin into a whole new clientele

For a real sit-down breakfast, I take my McMuffin apart and eat the parts separately with a fork.

I wander off like a butterfly net then you wander in like an exploratory surgery. If you're not waiting out my collection and I'm not escaping your findings is there a chance we're working together? It might explain our hobbies being connected by fate's nervous two stomach system.

banana pancakes sound delicious, until you realize you have to stop being a lazy, unproductive drain on societal resources to prepare them, and you just say fuck it and order hot cakes from McDonalds instead

As long as you're moving.. You can say this to strangers "SEE WHAT I DID THERE?" No one can stop you You might also throw in.. "Nice eyebrows" If you're deranged enough

Pretty sure that Regis Philban escaped accountability Leading a cult of morning people..smiling and shit

Pfft I give shade You bet I can Bad arse shade Like upside your head shade Don't mess with me shade I'll drag you up and down this boulevard of broken dreams shade You'll be begging my shade Like mama slipper flick shade Pfft shit [Plant Nursey]

Nobody kidnaps the people you wish would get kidnapped.

My gravestone is going to read . . . he finally got the long nap he wanted.

Remember when you were a kid and the teacher said you can be anything you want to be? Luckily I chose lower middle class and overweight.

Don't come in here!! I'm verifying myself!

I got a bad paper cut from breaking down cardboard boxes and if I find out that they are just taking it to the dump instead of recycling it, I stg I am personally overthrowing capitalism.

I've never played Russian roulette but I have eaten a tuna sandwich from Subway.

A WATCHED POT NEVER BOILS ESPECIALLY IF YOU FORGET TO TURN THE BURNER ON

Therapy is expensive, shitposting is free

My onlyfans is just me yelling FUCK during scrabble

Just finished flossing my teeth after lunch so I guess I'm a dentist now.

I often feel I don't get near enough credit for my dad joke skills considering I have no children.

as soon as i loosen this belt it's over for you britches

how was headache + sneezing not a finishing move in mortal kombat

Brushing his teeth w a stick & spittin out the bark like his ancestors before him

My mom found my porn stash and Amelia Earhart's airplane all while she was fixing dinner.

My dog is trained so well. He just barks like an absolute psycho till I throw the stick again. He knows how to get exactly what he wants—lil genius

You know some asshole at Microsoft makes 500K/year to pick the next default font

I've unfollowed all accounts that make me feel feelings. I'll no longer be doing that.

the scrotal impulse to nestle inside a warm crevice and stick to both sides sweatily

dear gods, take it all. scatter me on sea and stars. let me rest in peace.

My daughter spilled her protein shake on her bed so I said 'now you have a wheyted blanket lol' and then my wife called the cops.

always remember: not everything is your fault, just the stuff that happened since you were born

(snorting pixy stix in a cab) do you think the faeries that protect Mothra are her babies?!

Just got pulled over because my pretzels are too loud.