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4slars.bsky.social
Ameri-strayan' from SF located Downunder. I also lived in the UK. She/her https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7lq6uxpoi7g7665lv3znvmbi/feed/aaaczlulk5zf6
1,573 posts 7,508 followers 1,225 following
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Posts 44 Comments 6

I'm tired of having to make myself look presentable.

submitted 22 hours ago • 2 comments

My AI girlfriend is so smart she said I'm a primordial flesh sack that is not long for this plane of existence, I don't know what any of that means, but it sounds super hot.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

inviting you on an all paid all inclusive nervous breakdown

submitted 5 days ago • 26 comments

He's a 10, but he makes hot cocoa with water instead of milk...

submitted 3 days ago • 23 comments

[my world crumbling around me] what am i gonna make for dinner

submitted 2 days ago • 11 comments

NOSTRADAMUS: [rising from the grave] my bad, everyone

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

It’s my 2,000th consecutive day of just getting through one more day.

submitted 1 day ago • 11 comments

listing quantumness as my primary symptom. let them sort this shit out

submitted 1 day ago • 19 comments

the owls were missing all winter then I just heard one now suddenly there are hundreds maybe a thousand filling the trees hooting in a cacaphonous polyphonic round that combines to vaguely mimic a single croaking human voice asking how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop

submitted 8 days ago • 7 comments

mind if I hitch you up to my tractor and move you to a sunnier part of the junkyard?

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

That time all the different parrots showed up.

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

damn jonathan taylor thomas save some first names for the rest of us

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

I am currently hiding in a janitor closet inside a Dorito factory in an attempt to learn about its secret ingredients. Hoping my heavy breathing doesn’t give me away

submitted 1 day ago • 12 comments

Saw a guy wearing cargo pants with pockets so plentiful and deep I saluted him

submitted 1 day ago • 11 comments

Baby galahs from a few years ago.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

*standing at free sample kiosk* Her: It has less calories. Me: Fewer. It has fewer calories. Husband: This is why no one likes you.

submitted 2 days ago • 21 comments

Madame, you have the severe countenance of a prudent Victorian dowager so you must forgive me if I seemed shocked upon seeing your meat flaps a-flappin’

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

When you avoid US political posts

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Read my skeets before they go back in the Disney Vault.

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

Mmmm, starting to smell like weekend depression in here, must be Friday.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Take this opportunity to teach your children to think critically.

submitted 5 days ago • 20 comments

Horror movie: you’re the only person online

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

the only thing that can defeat a bad guy full of cocaine is a good guy full of cocaine. that is why I support YOUR second amendment right to get COKED the HELL outta your MIND

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

Turns out you have type 1 liarbetes.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

if i've fallen and i can't get up, i may still have a little cake

submitted 2 days ago • 34 comments

To the libertarians who believe that society is capable of self-regulation, have you never been inside a public restroom?

submitted 2 days ago • 12 comments

waiting for you to post something

submitted 2 days ago • 16 comments

None of us knows what the hell is going on. I take comfort in that.

submitted 1 day ago • 11 comments

YOOOO! Dr just told me he’s been hoarding birth control and Plan B bc he’s not denying access to patients for as long as he can help it can’t tell you what a relief it is to hear drs talk openly about this dystopia in my red county

submitted 2 days ago • 12 comments

Can’t wait for tomorrow so I can find out in which ways it will be worse than today.

submitted 1 day ago • 12 comments

why do people named Thomas go by tom and not Așś

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

Fictional villains: my motivation involves a complex backstory around lost love and a deep yearning to be understood Real life villains: being cruel makes me feel like a big strong man

submitted 2 days ago • 80 comments

The bakery just gave me a free bagel & suddenly I’m 94% more pleasant.

submitted 2 days ago • 42 comments

I'm sorry but I'm just not going to be cowering in fear of these clowns. They suck and they are cruel but they are not God.

submitted 2 days ago • 286 comments

*vegetarian vampire casually checking blood oranges for ripeness*

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

Stacy's mom's medicare is gone

submitted 2 days ago • 108 comments

If you ever see me downtown in scuba gear and a Speedo…no you didn’t.

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

Approval ratings for the asteroid have reached 37%

submitted 2 days ago • 52 comments

a gender that’s just the pink grainy dry soap in the skating rink bathroom

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments

C'mon Gen X. We survived the Cola Wars. We got this.

submitted 2 days ago • 19 comments

④⓪ YEARS AGO Don't You (Forget About Me) (1985) Simple Minds

submitted 2 days ago • 8 comments

You can find some great gifs here if you're not searching for them.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I don't think I will ever feel normal again.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Put the news on again and it was nice, lots of good, sensible things happening in the world. It’s fine. We’re all gonna be fine.

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments