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8rustystaples.bsky.social
America’s Sweetheart
124 posts 134 followers 187 following
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Posts 41 Comments 8

See, a problem nice people have is they think everyone else is gonna be nice, and mean people exploit that. Anyhoo, here’s Wonderwall

submitted 20 hours ago • 9 comments

Conflicted: I do not want to go to medical school or be a physician, but I love yelling "CLEAR!" and jolting someone with electricity.

submitted 1 day ago • 18 comments

George Santos got 7 years? Man, if they can do that to a Nobel Peace Prize winner, they can do it to anyone.

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

You should know I've been working on something for the past 3 months. For a surprise, go check out my profile and read the first word of every skeet, starting with this one.

submitted 1 day ago • 103 comments

Learning to squirt blood from my eyes like a horned lizard to escape awkward social interactions.

submitted 19 hours ago • 0 comments

featherweight boxers should barely be visible

submitted 19 hours ago • 3 comments

Something something castle doctrine…

submitted 19 hours ago • 0 comments

Limu Emu gets all the press, but it’s Doug who does most of the work.

submitted 19 hours ago • 0 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 801 comments

Let's agree to disappoint.

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

In retrospect, writing “Don't ever change” in people's yearbooks was terrible advice.

submitted 2 days ago • 17 comments

Okay Markwayne.

submitted 4 days ago • 1097 comments

If I had to shake JD Vance’s hand, I’d want to die, too.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

desperately waiting for the stock footage insert of white smoke that indicates the selection of a new Roger Corman

submitted 5 days ago • 3 comments

It's all a matter of perspective The Yote's not crossing the road The road is crossing his home

submitted 5 days ago • 13 comments

submitted 5 days ago • 105 comments

Just had to file a restraining order to stop Pete Hegseth from texting me.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Pete Hegseth is the used band-aid floating in a bottle of cheap vodka of people.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Not the same indeed.

submitted 8 days ago • 509 comments

I guess I’m wondering if a country has ever gone enduringly autocratic under a 78 year old who doesn’t let the job get in the way of three day golf weekends.

submitted 8 days ago • 33 comments

submitted 8 days ago • 232 comments

🎯🎯🎯

submitted 9 days ago • 521 comments

I've long been a fan of Senator... [checks notes] ... Van Halen

submitted 8 days ago • 278 comments

well cutting my life into pieces didn't work so i'm all out of ideas

submitted 8 days ago • 6 comments

you're more than a woman to me. you're a werewoman

submitted 8 days ago • 4 comments

Shout out to all the finance bros who didn’t give a shit about democracy, human rights, racism, homophobia, misogyny, the future of the planet or basic human decency and voted for the conman they thought was gonna be good for the economy. You guys are geniuses.

submitted 8 days ago • 611 comments

The modern US Republican Party may be the most openly, brazenly, and shamelessly hypocritical group of people to have ever existed in human history.

submitted 8 days ago • 226 comments

Remember when the rule of law applied the same to everyone in America, whether you were President of the United States or an undocumented immigrant? Now it doesn't seem to apply to either.

submitted 9 days ago • 215 comments

one thing that Democratic politicians should take note of is that the overlap between “great political optics” and “actual morally good stuff” is really big right now

submitted 8 days ago • 160 comments

The kids who didn't pay attention in civics or history classes voted to give us a dictatorship.

submitted 9 days ago • 355 comments

As David Brooks has said, we’re approaching civil disobedience and national strikes phase of defending our nation.

submitted 8 days ago • 1591 comments

me: could someone please explain to me what the fuck is going on also me: could everyone please stop trying to explain to me what the fuck is going on

submitted 8 days ago • 7 comments

The most ironic way to die is choking on a Lifesaver.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

If you invite me out to lunch but don't specify that I shouldn't bring any spider crabs with me, that's on you

submitted 9 days ago • 3 comments

🚀🚀

submitted 11 days ago • 1664 comments

submitted 11 days ago • 218 comments

We've reached the point in our descent into fascism where the Jewish governor's house getting firebombed on Passover by a guy trying to bash his head in with a sledgehammer is overshadowed by the story of the President saying he wants to build foreign gulags for US citizens.

submitted 11 days ago • 369 comments

Criminals deserve due process because due process is literally how we determine whether someone is, *in fact*, a criminal

submitted 11 days ago • 720 comments

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

🏆 @rollingstone.com wins the Headline of the Day Award This is how it’s done. At least someone understands the assignment. www.rollingstone.com/politics/pol...

submitted 11 days ago • 918 comments

Emergency video: it’s time to start making plans. Either the house steps up to defend the constitution, or our generation does. adamkinzinger.substack.com/p/emergency-...

submitted 11 days ago • 1174 comments