abrahamjacobi.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Remedial Vacation Bible School

submitted 23 hours ago • 0 comments

So glad we smothered collectivism in the 20th century so that we could unleash individual creativity and productivity, ultimately allowing us to put casino on phone

submitted 18 days ago • 9 comments

So glad tariffs arrived just in time to save me from my sissy hypno addiction. I was a week away from the Chinese milking chambers

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

‘i hate JK Rowling’s politics but you can’t deny that her books are masterpieces’ okay so the thing about that is you are stupid

submitted 7 days ago • 149 comments

GUY WHO DOESN’T REALIZE HE’S THE LEAST IMPORTANT FRIEND IN THE GROUP CHAT: It’s been a really rough few months since Maria left, and I couldn’t have done it without you. I love you guys. OTHER GUY: (accidentally texting the wrong friend group) Donkey Kong would be hotter in a little pair of shorts

submitted 8 days ago • 16 comments

ok cool i’ll just go to space

submitted 8 days ago • 22 comments

When the MBA starts talking about being a “values-driven person”

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

Standard of care is what I do to your mom, novel therapy is what I do to your dad

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

Rocko's Modern Basilisk

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

If you can't explain your job to a child you don't have a real job. "I guide mortals to the underworld." Real job

submitted 16 days ago • 13 comments

submitted 16 days ago • 42 comments

here’s proof that we live in a simulation: [provides proof that our education system has completely failed]

submitted 17 days ago • 3 comments

submitted 19 days ago • 9 comments

it is not enough to Live Más. We must Love Más as well

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

blocking the 5th account of the day called Blue Wave Deborah that follows 60,000 people and posts nothing but AI images of Trump in a diaper

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

When you run on Pizza Everyday in the Cafeteria then hit em with Juche thought

submitted 49 days ago • 3 comments

Every day I wedge the meatus directly on the USB port of my phone and piss into it as powerfully as I can and it allows me to tolerate this website

submitted 21 days ago • 6 comments

unlike you losers i have invested all of my assets into Mold and Fungus, which will fully consume us as the Earth warms

submitted 21 days ago • 2 comments

saw someone post an AI-generated ingredients list for tacos. thanks man i wasn't sure what was supposed to go in those

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

they tried to kill meemaw (99F w/ hx of CHF EF 5%, COPD, dementia) with the deadly hospice protocol (morphine and ativan) so we checked her out AMA and drove her across town to the Hellraiser II hospital where we know she’ll get quality treatment

submitted 24 days ago • 10 comments

SEPHIROTH: Those Who Look With Clouded Eyes See Nothing But Shadows CAJUN CHEF CHARACTER (new to remastered edition): now you dont listen to mister sephiroth, thats just his way. that old sourpuss never stops his grumblin, except of course when he's eatin some of my famous etouffee

submitted 103 days ago • 25 comments

>looking at a new admission >ask the ER resident if their patient is dry or wet >he doesnt understand >pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is dry and what is wet >he laughs and says “it’s a dry patient sir” >admit the patient >its wet

submitted 27 days ago • 2 comments

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

if you use AI for anything regularly i believe i’m intrinsically better, smarter, and likely a higher level of being than you

submitted 29 days ago • 9 comments

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

dipping my feet in honey and sticking them in my yard so I can get the highest quality ant bite pics for the best legal counsel

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

If we get to have an election in four years, I’m excited for all the shitlibs to pretend they’re communist again by voting for Tim Walz

submitted 35 days ago • 1 comment

i'd go to work barefoot before i wore a pair of those cole haans with the white soles

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

getting my skull split open at the farmer's market by a penzeys-branded stanley mug because a fifty-year old resist lib decoded secret messages from an account claiming to be a "rogue faa employee" that said anyone in a bernie sanders sweater is a kgb spy

submitted 52 days ago • 21 comments

turning my doctor into an anti-China guy by convincing him counterfeit “illicit whites” are the source of my dopaminergic toxidrome

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

Iranian diaspora and Miami Cubans are the same kind of guy

submitted 37 days ago • 1 comment